Love Yourself Tenderly: Honouring Your Wins and Your Worth

Rest, Rise, and Repeat Without Guilt (Pt.2b)

Nov 10, 2024

Welcome back to Part 2b, this is where this conversation began. In Part 2a, we explored the importance of sisterhood, support systems, and breaking through societal expectations. Now, let’s shift our focus to the power of celebrating achievements, owning our success, and prioritising self-care1 ~ because thriving is not just about surviving, it’s about flourishing in our full capacity.

Here are two more questions I’m asked so many times, they show me how important they are collectively:

QUESTION: You speak passionately about the need for women to celebrate their achievements openly. Can you share a personal story where you found it challenging to own your success, and how you overcame it? What practical tips can you offer people to help them do the same?

I used to give myself a quick "well done" and then move right along, barely acknowledging my accomplishments. It was as if I didn’t want to draw too much attention to them, like celebrating success too loudly would invite judgement or criticism.

One of the moments that challenged me the most came from my wonderful eldest daughter, Harriet. She pointed out something that really stopped me in my tracks ~ she told me I was living the dream but hardly ever spoke about it. She rattled off a list of everything I have created: living in a lovely country home, the slow-living lifestyle, my work as a consultant, and my loving family life. It hit me hard because she was right. I wasn’t owning any of it.

That conversation was a big moment for me. I saw that I needed to start speaking more openly about my achievements, not just for myself, but to show my children that celebrating ‘success’ is something to be proud of, not something to hide.

Here’s the rub, though ~ I was right to worry that speaking out would invite backlash. And it did. I’ve received flack for openly celebrating my wins.

Internalised competition can rise, and I’ve felt the sting of those trying to take me down publicly. But most important: I’m still standing. Sure, it hurts when it happens, but I’ve come to understand that when people feel the need to take me down, it says more about them than it does about me.

To start owning my success, I wrote a short paragraph on my About page that celebrated the life I had built. Then, I took it further by writing an article on why most of us would rather gag than brag. Harriet’s push helped me see that it wasn’t just about acknowledging my own success, it was about breaking the cycle of silence around women’s achievements.

Here are some practical tips for those who want to own their success more openly:

⏩ Find Your Celebration Circle: Surround yourself with women who also want to celebrate their wins. Build a community where success is shared and appreciated. This doesn’t have to be a formal group ~ just start by inviting one friend to share something she’s proud of, and you do the same. Over time, this will become a natural habit.

⏩ Acknowledge Small Wins: Start by recognising the smaller victories, the ones that are easy to overlook. Whether it’s finishing a project or simply surviving a chaotic week, celebrate it. The more you acknowledge these smaller moments, the easier it becomes to own the bigger achievements.

⏩ Create a Weekly Brag List: At the end of each week, write down everything you accomplished, no matter how big or small. This list is for your eyes only, but it’s a powerful way to recognise and celebrate your progress regularly. Over time, you’ll start seeing how much you achieve and begin to own it more openly.

The more we celebrate our success, the more we normalise it, not just for ourselves, but for the women and children watching us. When we own our achievements unapologetically, we pave the way for others to do the same.

With success and celebration in focus, we can’t forget the importance of self-care and mental well-being, especially in the middle of busy lives and careers. This next question lasers in on how we can prioritise our own mental health and resilience.

QUESTION: How do you prioritise your self care and mental health? What are your practices or routines that help you stay grounded and resilient?

I try for self-care, but let’s be real sometimes it feels like just surviving the day is all I can manage. The whole "self-care" narrative has become so idealised that it’s often more guilt-inducing than helpful. We’re shown these Insta-perfect versions of self-care: yoga at dawn, green smoothies, glowing skin. But for most of us, it’s just not that simple.

In reality, my version of self-care looks much messier. It’s not about beautifully curated moments; it’s about making decisions that protect my energy and allow me to keep going.

Sometimes, that means setting boundaries around work or giving myself permission to not wash my hair for two weeks because I’m focused on other things.

I’ve learned that self-care is really about being in tune with my body and my needs. It’s about regulating my nervous system, making space to decompress, and being aware of when I’m reaching burnout.

I’ve had to become very intentional about not overloading myself because, like many of us, I’ve slipped up and stretched myself too thin more times than I can count.

One of the most important things I do for my mental health is to give myself space ~ literal, physical space in my schedule and emotional space in my mind. I try to avoid overbooking myself, and I build in downtime whenever possible.

When I get it wrong, and I start to feel overwhelmed or irritable, that’s my signal to step back and reassess. I’m human, and I don’t always get it right, but I’m learning to extend myself grace in those moments.

Here are a few things that help me stay grounded and resilient:

⏩ Boundaries are Everything: I’ve become much stricter about setting boundaries around my time and energy. Whether it’s saying no to projects that don’t align with my values or carving out quiet time for myself, these boundaries are my lifeline.

⏩ Saying No Without Guilt: Learning to say no has been transformative. As mothers, we’re often conditioned to take on too much and put ourselves last. But I’ve found that saying no to things that drain me ~ whether it’s social obligations or extra work ~ has been key to maintaining my mental health.

⏩ Rest as a Non-Negotiable: Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. Whether that means getting enough sleep, taking breaks throughout the day, or simply doing nothing for an afternoon, I’ve learned that rest is a form of self-care that I can NOT compromise on. Is rest a privilege I ask myself?

At the end of the day, self-care is about tuning into what you need and honouring that, even when it doesn’t look pretty. And when it isn’t what everyone might talk about. It’s about recognising when to pause, when to pull back, and when to prioritise yourself, without guilt.

One thing is clear: none of us are meant to walk this path alone. Whether it's navigating motherhood, running a business, or simply trying to take care of ourselves in the middle of life’s demands, the power of sisterhood, support, and self-care is undeniable.

As I explored more in Part 2a, true sisterhood lifts us up, reminds us of who we are when the noise of the world tries to make us forget. It’s the foundation we stand on when the weight of life feels heavy.

And while society may tell us to shrink, to be quiet, or to play small, we’re here to reclaim our space, our voices, and our right to celebrate the lives we’re building.

Success doesn’t have to be solitary, and self-care doesn’t need to be perfect. But it does require intention ~ intention to set boundaries, to celebrate openly, and to prioritise ourselves without guilt.

As we wrap up this Q+A conversation, here’s what I want to remind you about: whether it’s owning our success, practising self-care, or leaning into the power of sisterhood, we are stronger when we do this together. True sisterhood reminds us to lift each other up, and true self-care helps us stay resilient in the centre of life’s undulations.

What matters is that we continue showing up for ourselves and each other, knowing that we have more than enough love, support, and strength to share.

With that in mind, I’d love to hear from you: when it comes to your own sisterhood, what qualities resonate most deeply for you? Here’s a poll for you:

I want to warmly invite you to take a moment to think about the women in your life who have lifted you up, who have been your support, and who have made you stronger. Who are the women you celebrate? Who do you want to see shine?

Share their names, stories, or even a simple note of appreciation. Let’s take this conversation beyond ourselves and uplift the women who are standing beside us, making space for each other to thrive.