Loved that, thanks for sharing! Is it possible to be both, that is the question? I think the way the lines blur between the Self (who is trying to create) and the Little Other (who is trying to get you to play firetrucks) is the struggle, as the Self no longer can be satieted because the Other is never, ever satiated. And never sleeps enough. Thanks to you both for engaging with this topic, I haven't come across conversations about it anywhere else.
"This week, the thing that saved me was. . ." the ability to hold quiet at work so I can come home and still have something left to give to my family. Introverted creatives working with teenagers, I have learned, need to be able to save something in the tank for later. Then falling asleep at 9 smooshed between my kids, knowing they get a lot just from being next to me, even if we aren't talking.
The Self vs Little Other metaphor also resonates a lot for me — and that’s as the parent who is generally not even the first choice when the kids come calling.
I initially read it as “Little Otter”, which also kind of works 🦦🤔
You made me laugh with Little Otter, Matt! It does fit too, totally agree because: Otter groups are called a family, bevy, lodge, or romp. The latter is the most common term for a group of otters on land.
Ha! I love the Little Otter! My three little boys could certainly be Little Otters. It is a romp, isn't it, love that! Often very fun and sometimes just, well, crazy. I also think of our house and family life as living the Wild Rumpus from "Where the Wild Things Are." And that wildness, that play, that rumpus is the stuff of creativity. But we as parents are also required to be the safe place for Max to come home to, now that I think of it. The ones who love him best of all, who make him cake and soup and welcome him back to predictability and domesticity. It is hard to be both, isn't it? Thanks for engaging with all of this. -MM
Your comment feels like a whole damn mood. That Self vs. Little Other line? Straight to the jugular. Honestly, it's a miracle we're creating anything some days... There’s so much we don’t say out loud about the quiet bleed between roles, especially when we’re trying to stay both creative and connected. I love how you captured the quiet dignity of holding back just enough at work to still offer something at home. And yes to falling asleep smooshed between them, it counts. It really does. 💛
YES! The quiet bleed- there is an open line that never really closes and I think to create, ideally we have a whole and centered and engaged Self, which takes time to arrive at. I need to have my dishes done or have had enough sleep. It is always working under non-ideal circumstances. Thank you for your words!
What a pleasure! Thanks for welcoming me.
You made it easy to welcome you. Thank you for your thoughtful honesty, it’s already resonating with so many.
Loved that, thanks for sharing! Is it possible to be both, that is the question? I think the way the lines blur between the Self (who is trying to create) and the Little Other (who is trying to get you to play firetrucks) is the struggle, as the Self no longer can be satieted because the Other is never, ever satiated. And never sleeps enough. Thanks to you both for engaging with this topic, I haven't come across conversations about it anywhere else.
"This week, the thing that saved me was. . ." the ability to hold quiet at work so I can come home and still have something left to give to my family. Introverted creatives working with teenagers, I have learned, need to be able to save something in the tank for later. Then falling asleep at 9 smooshed between my kids, knowing they get a lot just from being next to me, even if we aren't talking.
The Self vs Little Other metaphor also resonates a lot for me — and that’s as the parent who is generally not even the first choice when the kids come calling.
I initially read it as “Little Otter”, which also kind of works 🦦🤔
You made me laugh with Little Otter, Matt! It does fit too, totally agree because: Otter groups are called a family, bevy, lodge, or romp. The latter is the most common term for a group of otters on land.
I’d say my family is definitely a romp 🦦
Ha! I love the Little Otter! My three little boys could certainly be Little Otters. It is a romp, isn't it, love that! Often very fun and sometimes just, well, crazy. I also think of our house and family life as living the Wild Rumpus from "Where the Wild Things Are." And that wildness, that play, that rumpus is the stuff of creativity. But we as parents are also required to be the safe place for Max to come home to, now that I think of it. The ones who love him best of all, who make him cake and soup and welcome him back to predictability and domesticity. It is hard to be both, isn't it? Thanks for engaging with all of this. -MM
Your comment feels like a whole damn mood. That Self vs. Little Other line? Straight to the jugular. Honestly, it's a miracle we're creating anything some days... There’s so much we don’t say out loud about the quiet bleed between roles, especially when we’re trying to stay both creative and connected. I love how you captured the quiet dignity of holding back just enough at work to still offer something at home. And yes to falling asleep smooshed between them, it counts. It really does. 💛
YES! The quiet bleed- there is an open line that never really closes and I think to create, ideally we have a whole and centered and engaged Self, which takes time to arrive at. I need to have my dishes done or have had enough sleep. It is always working under non-ideal circumstances. Thank you for your words!
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High praise and I’m absolutely taking it. 😉 Thank you so much!