I Stopped Getting Stiffed for FREE Speaking Gigs (here's why you should too)

IWD - Daisy Chain Flower Crown

“One must be fierce” ~ Grace Hartigan, Artist

This is a personal essay about how I stopped colluding with International Women’s Day (IWD) speaking-gig traffickers. Pop this article in your ‘back pocket” although (as an aside) this pocket will be dimunitive if you’re wearing a garment made for women. Read this and pop it somewhere safe because if you’re visible and have opinions, you’ll need it.

Today, women weave a daisy chain crown of friendship, connection and solidarity in recognition of IWD. Thanks to the following fab circle who brought this together to prompt us to write from the heart.

Claire Venus

Lyndsay Kaldor

Zoe Gardiner

Lauren Barber

Laura Oldfield

Laurita Gorman | MSW SEP

Tarot for Life

Laura Durban

Lindsay Johnstone

Charlie Swift

Tamzin

Check them out!

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I’ve been on the UK speaker circuit for a while, if twenty years counts. The context: skirt + heels wearing consultant in boardrooms, add in mother of ten kids. Strewth¹. Imagine me wheeled out to talk on behalf on any all women in business on anything that needs a womb with a brain attached.

I’m not questioning why IWD was set up back in 1911 to celebrate women’s achievements and to campaign for gender parity. My words aren’t a critique of the original mission. It’s what its become, for women speakers, I take issue with.

Every year across IWD week or, spare me, IWD month, businesses fall over themselves to change their logos, put up pictures of any females they can find in the office and host panel discussions about what great progress they’re making on gender equality.

My colleague and friend Virginia Mendez said recently, “this week is the busiest one of the year”. As she said this, visions of me running/flying/taxi-ing between multiple event spaces, corporate halls and workplaces spread across cities and countries, made me shudder. The IWD job I break my invisible balls to do is to be an inspiration injection of hope for women and girls.

2024’s IWD theme is “Count her in: Accelerating gender equality through economic empowerment”. Which is why I’m sharing my experience on why I stopped being stiffed by organisations unwilling to pay me as an IWD speaker.

IWD prep begins the same way each time. I’m contacted months and weeks before the Big Event to do a keynote or be on a panel talking loosely about whatever the IWD hashtag of that year is. The approach from a corporate is tasked to a senior level representative from an Employee Resource Group (ERG), usually a woman. She’s told to secure my/someone’s involvement. The rub for her to deliver: a ‘participation fee’ has rarely been agreed. To make matters worse these people have to sign up women who are in demand, against other corporates.

The point: Speakers need to be free or if ‘difficult’ thrown the bone of say, a taxi fare or a goodie bag with a glitzy candle in it. An obligatory smile on receipt of this, is expected. Photos are taken.

FTSE 100 companies go beyond the candle and transport gift and instead present speakers with a gargantuan bouquet of flowers the size of ten kids heads, making any train journey home tricky. [Apologies to the chap on the London Victoria to Brighton train for the lily dust on your coat. I hope you or your wife managed to get the stains out.] BUT god bless them, at least that corporate looked generous handing me an absurd amount of flowers. I was never given a photo of this spectacle or I’d share it, just for the laughs.

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I’d had enough with free IWD gigs the year I dragged home after an IWD week in which I talked at seven different workplaces in one country, raced to an airport, MC’d one panel then keynoted a corporate event in another, and found myself being interviewed for a radio show from my windowless shitty hotel room. I collapsed home, good for nothing for several days.

Beyond travel and hotel expenses, only one corporate offered a speaker fee adjacent to my market rate. 

Instead, I was handed sparkly bags with miniature pink toiletries, given several paper bags with tea bags, cookies and fun size stationery and at one major organisation… nadah, not even a quiet thanks. I was handed a cupcake and chatted up. Can we agree none of these count as economic empowerment? 

The reason I do this IWD speaking, I tell my family, is to give back. I felt it would be weird to not give my services in aid of my Sisters. Except after that week I was out of pocket, my patience was run dry and I’d also lost more than a week of income for my family. I was done with that way of doing IWD.

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The crude among us might say, just ask for the cash then.

Let’s get crude. Although I’d argue there’s nothing crude about being paid for our talents.

Today is IWD. This is not a late to the party guide. I offer this as an insider peek into how I resist getting stiffed, shafted, and taken advantage of. My contribution here is to encourage more women to ask for what they want and deserve. For IWD speaking gigs and in life.

Tweak my blueprint to suit your needs.

🥾 STEP ONE:

In the first five or so minutes of any IWD call, I ask what their budget is.

This flushes out potential exploitation in a flash. The person on the call might attempt to lure a speaking engagement in by mentioning 1) visibility or 2) the possibility of future work in that company. If either of these ‘benefits’ are put forward I know the company is wielding unequal power distribution. A corporate entity is trying to procure free goods from an individual woman to benefit that corporates employees, and their company reputation and status.

🥾 STEP TWO:

I mention my speaking rates. Unflinching. No hesitation. When this was hard, I practiced in a mirror till it wasn’t. After a short while I stopped blushing. My speaking rates begin at 2k for a keynote (average, 5k) and start at £500 for a panel². I explain, with as much good humour as I have on that day, my expertise does not oscillate because of my dedication to supporting women in the workplace. I also might mention how child care for a midday/8pm an any hour event is at a premium rate and that I don’t ask my childcarer to donate her services because she also cares for women’s equality. Of course I smile as I say this, because I’m not cross. I’m factual.

🥾 STEP THREE:

I ask if the caller has decision making power over the budget. Awkward. This is no time to bail on being a strong, smart, powerful human. My experience shows there’s always a budget available. I repeat ALWAYS. Companies can find money, if they want to. They won’t if the speaker is willing to speak for a candle.

🥾 PAUSE STEP:

I halt further discussions till the speaker fee decision is made. Killing time with corporates paying lip service to equality isn’t my kind of fun³. I let them know I’d be thrilled to talk more about their exciting event once they’ve clarity on the speaker fee. Then I suggest we lock in another date and time to speak.

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There’s anecdotal correlation between companies paying IWD speakers and being serious with their gender parity intentions. There’s bound to be research on this and when I find it, I’ll share it with you. Once an academic, ever a don.

FYI there’s a register being compiled of large organisations and publicly listed companies who are pimping IWD speakers for free or for less than their market rate. Exceptions are made for some organisations such as NFPs and charities. In case you’re wondering, I adjust fees to speak in these.                 

I’ve found no need to make grand gestures along the way. Never. Companies deselect themselves if they’re pimping for free IWD speakers.

My job is to know what I’m willing to be-with when discussing my speaking expertise, and to articulate that. Then I go do what I love doing - speaking at events for organisations who insist that gender penalties are abolished. No candles or cupcakes required.

Whatever you do this IWD, make sure you’re counted in the “Count her in: Accelerating gender equality through economic empowerment” in stiffed-free ways.

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If you’re hungry for more on IWD + business events read Sophie Walker and in a separate article Abigail Bergstrom, who says, “International Women’s Day should be a day of outrage”.

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Any tips that you could recommend to women ready to get paid for speaking, IWD week included?

For instance,

Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD

asks these two speaker questions: 1) What have you paid speakers in the past? & 2) Is there another organization you can partner with to cover my usual fee?

Accelerated equality + economic empowerment for women has me on my back with joy, let’s go get it. Remember: A fistful of interlinked daisies elevates us all. 

If you enjoyed this article, you might like this one too:

Mini Rant from a Mother of 10: Stop asking me THIS Question

1. STREWTH: Believed to have its origins in 19th-century Australia, where it was originally uttered as a way of expressing surprise or dismay. Strewth is a shorter form of the words "God's truth".

2. Women don’t always see what others are being paid. It’s a mechanism to keep information shrouded. I’m busting this on purpose.

3. Competitive Scrabble is, by the by. And candles I buy for myself.