Welcome to Parents That Write.
Parent writers, artists, and creators are more than just their ‘chaos’—we’re publishing books, dropping albums, optioning screenplays, and making magic every day.
How do they do it? That's what we're here to find out. Each week, my guests tackle eight quickfire questions, plus a few wildcards. But first, a peek into my own creative life:
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
Writing Like the Clock’s on Fire 🔥
Some writers have rituals that invite creativity in. Others strong-arm their brains into submission.
Author Kelsey McKinney forces herself to shove sour candies into her mouth every time she stops typing—the kind that strip your mouth raw like you’ve been licking battery acid. I love this level of commitment.
Me? I didn’t have time for self-inflicted acid wounds. My ritual was simple: light the candles and write like hell. I had 18 days to deliver a full manuscript. No wiggle room. No safety net.
Every morning, before dawn, I’d strike a match, set the wicks burning, and that was it—the day had begun. A symbolic flicker of light saying: Get on with it, woman.
There was no space for second-guessing, stalling, or waiting for inspiration. 5,000 words a day was the goal. If I missed it, I’d have to double up the next day, and that was a terrifying thought. My only reward? Netflix, but only if I hit my word count.
No social media. No phone-checking. No falling down research rabbit holes. I had to keep my head in the game. And every time guilt or self-doubt threatened to creep in (Should I be having a normal Christmas? Am I a bad mother?), I repeated one thing to myself: I can MOVE ON once this book is out of me!
Because these motherhood ideas had been sitting inside me too long. I wasn’t just writing NOISE—I was getting free of it.
Next week, I break down what1 drove me to write NOISE in an intense 18-day sprint. My interview guest, shares how she weaves writing into life while raising her son. See you there for the next step in this journey!
Today, I bring you my conversation with of Breathe Yourself Home. Her Substack is a powerful space where survival, yoga, and breath work intersect. Through personal loss and resilience, she explores healing, motherhood, and the power of presence, one breath at a time.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
I am a mother to two wonderful boys, ages 6 and 3. My dream was to homeschool, however life threw us some curveballs and we had to pivot. We live in the suburbs a few minutes from my parents house. The boys started school, and pre-school last fall. This was an exciting and strange transition, as I’ve just come off of 6 years of being home with my babies.
I am currently not working, but finishing up a yoga teacher training, and exploring what my nexts steps will be.
Where can we find you?
Breathe Yourself Home Substack
Can you share favourite praise for your writing?
I've received an outpouring of support since I started sharing my story. My goal initially was just to help one person feel less alone in a similar situation. Feeling alone in domestic violence, and losing a partner to suicide is too heavy a burden to bear. But relating to someone who understands really helps us to move through the intense grief.
I've received comments like "My wife has advanced cancer. This post made me think of important things that I had not thought about. Thank you for preparing me." Or "Feels oddly healing reading about your journey, like I get to "re-parent" my inner child by imagining what it could have been like to be held through that time." I am floored each time I read a comment like these.
Why do you write?
I write to process life events that don't make sense to me right now. When I write, they make sense.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
It comes in sparks. My husband used to always share a story about Bono from U2. He was being interviewed on a plane when he had to pause the interviewer to jot down some lyrics. He shared that he was always afraid that it would stop. These flashes of creativity that just came to him. I'm in no way comparing myself to Bono, but it feels similar. A memory, or the right words will just spark in my head and I hear that command "go write" and I do. I can't write any other way. I can't say "today I will write from 6am-8am". If I plan it, it doesn't come from the deepest more authentic place within me.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
Giving birth to two boys has given me a deeper access to my emotions. I always wanted to write, but I wasn't connecting to the page like I do now. I'm birthing these stories in a way, like I birthed them. They come when they want, and I have to be ready.
How often do you write with your child/ren around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?
I can't write when my children are in the house. When they are around I am attuned to them, and can't access that really raw place within myself. Luckily most of the sparks come when they are at school or asleep. But if something comes through when they are around,I jot it down in my notes on my phone and hope I can dig deeper another time when I'm alone.
What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?
This isn't a traditional writing habit- but releasing perfection and letting it flow out of you. Not looking through the lens of any other person, because then you won't sound like yourself.
What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?
I think if you are driven to write, you will write. I think good writers have vast life experiences. You have to feel to write. Feeling always comes first. From there, everyone is different.
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
I write as if I am the only one who is going to read it. Because only then am I viscerally honest.
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
Nature, trusting the seasons. Nature simply is- we as people haven't contributed to it's beauty in any profound way. It morphs, it's raw, and just honest.
What’s your best writing time?
At nighttime when my kids are asleep. I'm too tired to overthink, so I tend to be more raw and bold in my risks with truth. Sharing your deepest darkest stories is frightening.
What motivates you to write amongst the flurry of family life?
I think writing helps me to be a better mother. Otherwise all of this is swirly in my brain somewhere, taking up energy I could use for my kids. In the past months I have felt as though I was writing for survival. Naming exactly what I was feeling, was very liberating.
How much torture/pleasure is involved in your writing life and in what form does it come?
It's complete pleasure. I write because I love words. I love to strip things back until the most vulnerable truth is exposed.
If you could have a conversation with any writer throughout history (who was also a parent) about their writing routine and creative process, who would that person be, and why?
I think in the past when I tried to emulate someones process, it was because I hadn't found my own voice yet. Surprisingly (and not so surprisingly), my voice came when I left my husband, and he passed away. I knew who I was and what I wanted to say. So I don't think of others routines or creative process, I think everyone needs to find their own.
What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?
Quiet, there needs to be no sounds at all. No other people around. I can't be cold at all, I have to be very warm. Just no distractions- phones, lights, sounds from the washing machine- nothing.
What’s your favourite quote from a writer?
"Whatever you seek is seeking you" - Rumi
Closing out this Column with:
“I can't do a single act of writing or creating or thinking about writing unless I have childcare. Without that, there's nothing.” Kate Baer
PARENTS WHO THINK (AND CREATE) TO THE COMMENTS 👇🏻
Isabelle doesn’t wrangle writing into neat time slots—it arrives in flashes, demanding to be caught before it disappears. Her best work happens late at night, when exhaustion drowns out self-doubt and only the truth remains.
What about you? Do you chase inspiration on its terms, or do you force it to show up on schedule? Is your best work stolen in chaos or conjured in stillness? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
Sending you creative juice,
Danusia x
➡️ If you’re looking for others in this series, including
Apart from the fact that I had solid childcare in this 18 day period!
I’ll be sitting at a traffic light and just start typing into my phone. It comes in sparks just as you profiled here. So nice to know I’m not the only one who writes like a mad woman before the kids wake up.
I relate to having to write when the spark comes! Great interview, thanks Danusia & Isabelle