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Sarina Zoe's avatar

I actually listened to this! I almost never listen to audio on Substack, loved your voice and stories

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

Oh my goodness. I’m honoured as I know if people aren’t an audio fan then that’s BIG. I forgot there was audio in it - I put it there without sending it out to subscribers (when I first thought I might like to be here) and I’d not discovered the audio post option.

So thrilled to be in your ears. That means a lot to me x

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Sarina Zoe's avatar

You’ve inspired me to do an audio next!

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

Yay! Can’t wait to hear it.

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Katrina Donham's avatar

COVID created a noticeable divide with a long-time friend. The election, I believe, has finished the job. For years, we engaged in discussions about our differing beliefs and usually landed on agreeing to disagree but still remain friends. Since January, however, their vocal opinions online caused an unsettling in my heart. I felt physically sick from the words they were publishing via this platform. I attempted to express my feelings and was met by anger, rejection, and immaturity. At the end of the day, I have to listen to my body and my heart. My mind has been the last to get on board because it's been an unpleasant experience. I'm definitely dealing with the grief that comes with losing a best friend. In one of our last text exchanges, this person said that I shouldn't take anything personal when it came to the things published online, but I disagree. I think you are who you are, no matter the context or space. Anyway, I'm still sad about it.

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

Thank you for sharing this Katrina. What you’ve walked through is no small thingβ€”losing a best friend carries such a painful kind of ache. I thought hard about expressing this here!

That dissonance between head and heart… I know it so well, as you can tell.

And yes, I agreeβ€”how we show up in the world, even online, is who we are. There’s nothing silly or oversensitive about taking that seriously. I’m really really sorry. It is sad. And I’m holding that sadness with you πŸ«‚πŸ‘―β€β™€οΈ

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Katrina Donham's avatar

Thank you, Danusia! And I wanted to also say how sad I am for you that people walked out of your life when you needed them the most: when you had your sweet babies! πŸ’ž

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Faith Newton's avatar

So sad that you lost those friendships and had to deal with the negativity around your babies. So glad you followed your gut and what was right for you and your family each time.

As my son has stopped going to school and we've started unschooling I've let some friendships drift with people who don't 'get it' and have built a small tribe of those who do, including being able to write here on Substack at my page Holy Choas!

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Danusia Malina-Derben's avatar

Oh Faith I hear you about the β€˜drifting friendships’. It’s good to hear you’ve found a small group of people who understand your choice to unschool. Many who end up out of the education system in schools are there not necessarily out of choice but because of unmet needs. We both get that!

Better to have a tiny tribe of loving people than a large judging group.

Thank you so much for reading my work. Truly you’re making a difference. As is Holy Chaos.

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