Haters will always be around, they’ve just somehow taken to the stage as a result of “protection through the screen”, but they are here in real life too.
It’s the people who have no problem to talk about you behind your back, write snarky reviews (just not directly to you), go the extra mile to make sure you’re not invited to the party (the list goes on),
To use this hateful energy as fuel rather than a sign to stop is POWERFUL 👏 because truly, if you weren’t doing anything of important/impact nobody would care… but the simple action of just doing something, showing up (and God forbid daring to do so as your full self), IS provocative and bound to meat friction.
Maybe we should call it Friction Fuel 🔥🔥
Thanks for the mention too lovely, women uplifting women is the camp I’d like to hang 🥳💗
There’s some wonderful academic work on the enduring nature of the glass ceiling in organisations because of the way women impact and experience one another. Since mothering became a professional sport the mechanics of this reach far beyond orgs.
Weaponised rather than bonding gossip, exclusion, competition and spite - and of course reputation destruction.
I saw a Forbes article a while back asking ten ‘names’ about their experiences of hate in their roles and online. They talked about how hard it was etc. 9 of the people in the piece were men and I wondered how different it would have read if Forbes flipped that.
Why out 9 men in that article ? It makes no sense.
The experience will definitely be very different for people depending on their various circumstances. I think it would’ve made more sense to have either 10 men and the focus being upright “men’s experiences” and then do a counter study with 10 women for example.
But a ratio of 9:1? That’s nonsense haha!
Anyway, love and hate have always existed in antithesis to each other but one can’t exist without the other in some way too, so better appreciate the entire experience as learning for how we can proceed to spread more love and … well… turn the friction into fuel 🔥
So timely. Thank you. I absolutely love the continued frame of success as something that is a wide lens and multi-layered that is determined by the person having it. Haters hating on something that’s got nothing to do with you. I also felt very proud to be in one of the 18% of women owned small businesses in the UK. I was surprised at how low that number is. And then I was surprised I was surprised!
I published a children's book on grief, with the intent of providing caregivers with guidance on how to 1) Recognize grief in children, 2) Talk to children about death, and 3) Help them process their grief. The top three haters are: 1) A social worker who called me and ranted for half an hour about how another children's book on grief was so much better than mine, 2) A nurse at a prominent hospital who wrote a lengthy email outlining in great detail not just how much she hated my book, but named several other hospital employees and their positions and made it clear that they all hated my book, and 3) A person who worked with socioeconomically disadvantaged children, who said she would never recommend my book because the illustrator used a yellowish-white hue for the character's skin color. I responded to this by 1) Feeling rather important and as though I must have done something right to create such a ruckus, and 2) Not responding to their "feedback."
You certainly did do something right to generate such a stir Laura! Caregivers + grief ~ you'd probably not guess this would manage to trouble the three people you mention.
All seem to have had extreme responses to your book. AND I notice you say the top three haters rather than the only haters.
Thanks for writing this much-needed book and for rising through this anyway 🔥
When I was 13, I lost my dad to leukaemia. Your book would have been very valuable to the adults around me, who had no idea what to say or do. So I'm glad you wrote it for people to use now. Thank you.
Thanks for your comment Catherine. Such a lot of hate about, emboldened keyboard warriors who would never dream to say the things they write if they were in a room with people. Or maybe they would?! I'm grateful you read this piece.
This was a hard one to write Claire. Because as we both know it’s incredibly hard to steady ourselves when haters come for us.
They’re a bit different from naysayers. But still they’re related, like second cousins 😉
The toughies are where we realise ‘friends’ might be better put in the haters quadrant 🫂
Of course, I’d be thrilled if more people find solace or understanding about this - thank you for researching this hard topic and for sharing my words. 💞
Brillant as always ✨
Haters will always be around, they’ve just somehow taken to the stage as a result of “protection through the screen”, but they are here in real life too.
It’s the people who have no problem to talk about you behind your back, write snarky reviews (just not directly to you), go the extra mile to make sure you’re not invited to the party (the list goes on),
To use this hateful energy as fuel rather than a sign to stop is POWERFUL 👏 because truly, if you weren’t doing anything of important/impact nobody would care… but the simple action of just doing something, showing up (and God forbid daring to do so as your full self), IS provocative and bound to meat friction.
Maybe we should call it Friction Fuel 🔥🔥
Thanks for the mention too lovely, women uplifting women is the camp I’d like to hang 🥳💗
I love that you bring this to real life too.
There’s some wonderful academic work on the enduring nature of the glass ceiling in organisations because of the way women impact and experience one another. Since mothering became a professional sport the mechanics of this reach far beyond orgs.
Weaponised rather than bonding gossip, exclusion, competition and spite - and of course reputation destruction.
I saw a Forbes article a while back asking ten ‘names’ about their experiences of hate in their roles and online. They talked about how hard it was etc. 9 of the people in the piece were men and I wondered how different it would have read if Forbes flipped that.
Friction Fuel is wonderful! 💖
Why out 9 men in that article ? It makes no sense.
The experience will definitely be very different for people depending on their various circumstances. I think it would’ve made more sense to have either 10 men and the focus being upright “men’s experiences” and then do a counter study with 10 women for example.
But a ratio of 9:1? That’s nonsense haha!
Anyway, love and hate have always existed in antithesis to each other but one can’t exist without the other in some way too, so better appreciate the entire experience as learning for how we can proceed to spread more love and … well… turn the friction into fuel 🔥
Isn’t it a confusing metric? Why 9 men, 1 woman? Tokenism or something else, I couldn’t know.
Love and kindness all the way - spreading friction fuel was my intention with this piece. It’s not about me, as we know this happens to many of us! 🪴
So timely. Thank you. I absolutely love the continued frame of success as something that is a wide lens and multi-layered that is determined by the person having it. Haters hating on something that’s got nothing to do with you. I also felt very proud to be in one of the 18% of women owned small businesses in the UK. I was surprised at how low that number is. And then I was surprised I was surprised!
Congrats to you for being one of the business owners too👏✨Just got myself up to date with your Sub. Looks like lots of fab settling in. 💖
Thanks for reading Olivia!
I published a children's book on grief, with the intent of providing caregivers with guidance on how to 1) Recognize grief in children, 2) Talk to children about death, and 3) Help them process their grief. The top three haters are: 1) A social worker who called me and ranted for half an hour about how another children's book on grief was so much better than mine, 2) A nurse at a prominent hospital who wrote a lengthy email outlining in great detail not just how much she hated my book, but named several other hospital employees and their positions and made it clear that they all hated my book, and 3) A person who worked with socioeconomically disadvantaged children, who said she would never recommend my book because the illustrator used a yellowish-white hue for the character's skin color. I responded to this by 1) Feeling rather important and as though I must have done something right to create such a ruckus, and 2) Not responding to their "feedback."
You certainly did do something right to generate such a stir Laura! Caregivers + grief ~ you'd probably not guess this would manage to trouble the three people you mention.
All seem to have had extreme responses to your book. AND I notice you say the top three haters rather than the only haters.
Thanks for writing this much-needed book and for rising through this anyway 🔥
When I was 13, I lost my dad to leukaemia. Your book would have been very valuable to the adults around me, who had no idea what to say or do. So I'm glad you wrote it for people to use now. Thank you.
What a lovely note to Laura. Kindness wins.
this is a timely and helpful article in these weird social media days when there is so much hate around. Thanks!
Thanks for your comment Catherine. Such a lot of hate about, emboldened keyboard warriors who would never dream to say the things they write if they were in a room with people. Or maybe they would?! I'm grateful you read this piece.
Thank you for writing this and sharing your experiences and your heart! 💖
I am currently researching this topic and I’d love to use this in resources for my members if that’s ok? ✨
This was a hard one to write Claire. Because as we both know it’s incredibly hard to steady ourselves when haters come for us.
They’re a bit different from naysayers. But still they’re related, like second cousins 😉
The toughies are where we realise ‘friends’ might be better put in the haters quadrant 🫂
Of course, I’d be thrilled if more people find solace or understanding about this - thank you for researching this hard topic and for sharing my words. 💞