Welcome to Parents That Write.
Parent writers, artists, and creators are more than just their ‘chaos’—we’re publishing books, dropping albums, optioning screenplays, and making magic every day.
How do they do it? That's what we're here to find out. Each week, my guests tackle eight quickfire questions, plus a few wildcards. But first, a peek into my own creative life:
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
Lovelies, what are your ideal writing conditions? A desk with a view? A sunlit café? A cabin in the woods?
Stephen King calls this the magic feather fallacy — the idea that we can only write under perfect conditions. If we wait for those, we’ll never get past the first page. Writing happens in the life we already have, not in the fantasy one we’d like, right?
For my book NOISE, my writing conditions were anything but conventional1 — first, the where, then the when.
I wrote it from bed. The top cover an old fave taupe cashmere blanket I christened Cashie, wearing an oversized thrifted H&M green sparkly jumper over my PJs. Evermore by Taylor Swift played on loop (especially Willow). I wore Jo Loves Smoked Plum & Leather perfume2. I listened to nothing else, wore nothing else, smelled like nothing else.
This was a focus state.
Writing a book can mean clearing space: physically, mentally, logistically. It means asking who’s doing the meals, the chores, the invisible admin.
For me, it meant negotiating Christmas. I struck a deal with my family: a stripped-back-from-me-and-them3 festive season so I could deliver my final manuscript by January 4.
I started writing on December 17. I took Christmas Day off. That was IT.
I was also writing in recovery from surgery ~ post breast reduction, heavily medicated, and tucked up in our cottage in a vineyard where we lived then. My window flung wide open, German Lüften4 style. Heinz tomato soup, toast, and thin slices of cheddar on repeat.
It wasn’t an aesthetic. It was survival. And somehow, with huge support from my family, from this unorthodox space, I wrote NOISE. Bonkers, right?!
Next week, I’ll share the rituals that kept me going. My guest creative is Isabelle, writer of A Return to Breath. She’ll be sharing the BTS of her creative processes with us all. I hope you’ll join us!
Today, I’m delighted to interview Tiffany Chu author of Periphery and The Untangling. Drawing from her experiences with fundamentalist Christianity, East Asian values, and chronic illness, Tiffany unpacks tensions between who she was told to be and who she truly is. Tiffany’s work fosters greater understanding and appreciation of Asian cultures and experiences among a global readership.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
I have two living children, aged 7 and almost 2. I homeschool the 7-year-old while caring for the younger one, so I'm kept quite busy during the week. My husband works full-time and also parents when he gets home. My parents help with childcare at least once a week. That's our time off to catch up on errands, clean the house, spend some time together.
Where can we find you?
The Untangling Substack | Books | Periphery Substack
Can you share favourite praise for your writing?
"Tiffany’s writing is like the gift of a warm fire on a winter’s night. A poignant alchemy of all layers of the experiences and emotions that make up the human condition, her words will continue to resound in your heart long after your first encounter with them." -Suyin Tan
Why do you write?
I've been writing since I learned how to. I have a compulsion to do it - probably an addiction, even - to put the thoughts in my head onto paper. I feel antsy if I don't write SOMETHING every day, even if it's a journal entry no one else will ever see. Writing is how I make sense of the world. It's how I process and understand myself and what's going on around me.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
It's a bit like white noise. I pull out the sound that's loudest and start writing that.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
Being extremely limited to pretty much naptimes and bedtimes (if I'm not exhausted by then), or writing in stolen moments throughout the day, makes me grateful and focused. I've had to adjust my writing style; I used to only be able to write outside of the house like in a cafe. There needs to be white noise.
Somehow, I find too many distractions at home - things to clean, errands, chores to do, etc. But being a parent has forced me to make do with what I have. I've learned to write under less than ideal circumstances, though.
As a previously inflexible sort of writer/person who had to have my environment a certain way, that's a big win. I still write more efficiently when I'm out of the house, though - most likely because I don't have a toddler crawling over me and kid yelling "Mom!" at me every two seconds at the same time.
How often do you write with your child/ren around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?
Not often hahaha. Like I said, naptime and bedtime. Occasionally if my parents can help me watch the kids, I get half a day off, which I usually use to do some focused writing time. My fiction writing suffers the most when the children are around because that requires me to get into a certain zone to write, and I can't do it at all if there are distractions.
What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?
I set a daily goal of writing 100 words this year. Sometimes it's difficult to reach even that, but on days I exceed it, I feel extra accomplished! I'm a really slow writer, in addition to having little time.
What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?
➡️ Flexibility
➡️ Grace
➡️ Leaning on others for help
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
A husband who lets me stay up late when I'm in the grip of a writing frenzy.
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
My son, Renley. Even though I've always been a writer, I'd always written in isolation. Ren was the first person who became a true writing partner for me. We'd share our writing with each other and write together. He gave me the courage to keep writing through sheer encouragement and belief. Ren is the reason I started sharing my writing with the world.
What’s your best writing time?
Contrary to what seems like common practice, I'm not really a morning writing person. Maybe I used to be, but that's changed with parenthood. Now I write best in the afternoon and night. It's when the house is quietest, so I think my brain has adjusted and thinks that's the time to write.
Once in awhile, I'll get into a flow at night and I won't be able to stop writing for hours. The writing frenzy sometimes last a couple days, when I can't think of anything else but writing the thing I was working on. When that happens, I'm very lucky my husband is willing to take over parenting and house duties so I can focus until the frenzy ends haha. Somehow these only ever begin when I'm writing at night. So inconvenient.
How much torture/pleasure is involved in your writing life and in what form does it come?
As I mentioned previously, I'm a horribly slow writer. I once took four hours to write 300 words at 3AM and this was pre-kids! To me, writing itself is torture. I know, I know, I said it was compulsive. But that's just it, isn't it? It's something I MUST do. My soul craves it like it needs air, but god it's hard.
Well, okay I should say that first drafts are hard for me. I abhor first drafts. Once I've got a draft, even if it's just bare bones (which it usually is), I can work with that. I love revising and editing. I go back over it again and again, filling in more details as I go. It's the best.
What unfinished writing projects do you have lying about?
Oh god, way too many. To be fair to myself, many of my book projects are emotionally heavy ones. The main one I'm working on now is the short story anthology I co-wrote with my son, Renley, before he died. I've been expanding the stories and refining them with my editor. Those stories are published on my Substack, but I'll be releasing them as a physical book once they're fully edited. This is my priority at the moment, since it was Ren's. It's my tribute to him.
In the rotation, I also have Renley's memoir. He had a rough version of essays he'd compiled before his death that he wished for me to publish on his behalf. I'm adding in contextual passages. The project is a heavy one, though, for obvious reasons. I can only work on tiny chunks of it at a time.
Then, there's my own memoir..
I have an epic fantasy novel that has been in the works since 2020. While it's not emotionally heavy in the same way, I'm just inordinately attached to it since it's my first novel.
The only light-hearted project I have (haha) is a romantic comedy I'm writing purely to entertain my best friend. That's being published on Substack as I write it, but very sporadically.
What music do you listen to while writing?
I listen to the Medici soundtrack, mainly. It's epic. Other than that, I have other epic instrumentals.
Closing out this Column with:
“Do your best with what you’ve got” ― Toni Morrison
PARENTS WHO THINK (AND CREATE) TO THE COMMENTS 👇🏻 These interviews are a joy to bring you—and so is knowing what ignites or stalls your creative process. Let’s talk, if you fancy sharing, comment below!
Sending you all love,
Danusia x
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I was there in bed. Kids visited for hugs and chats. I’d organised ALL Xmas pressies, tree, food, pretty well everything ahead of my surgery and Christmas.
Lüften is the concept and practise of letting out old, stale, and humid air from a property, whilst letting in fresh air. It’s a big deal in Germany. The idea is that replacing the stale and humid air in a home has many benefits.
Hi…I’m here! Youre incredible…