Another interesting interview; I always enjoying reading them. I also went and read your story about being investigated... My God, what a nightmare. It can happen to anyone, for the teeniest thing.
As for "being more me", I think I'm rather transparent in my writing, sometimes possibly too much so. I don't know... Where I can hold back is in showing my privileged situation, because it's something I struggle with. I always hoped to be able to support myself financially through my creative endeavours, be it writing, making bags, crocheting bedcovers etc, but the clock is ticking and I doubt it's going to happen! I wanted to flip the script and allow my husband to give up his highly successful but very stressful job decades ago... but now he's retired and no longer stressed. I carry that chip on my shoulder. It gets quite heavy at times. He's never berated me for not earning much money, but I feel a certain guilt about it. So that would be my hang-up. I should write about it, as I'm sure I'm not the only one in this (very lucky) position.
Francesca, I’m so grateful and glad you shared this. That “chip on my shoulder” line 🫶🏼 I know exactly the kind of weight you mean. Isn’t it strange how the parts of our lives we feel grateful for can also carry this hidden tangle of guilt and shame?
What you’ve said here, about money, creative ambition, partnerships, the stories we tell (or don’t tell) about contribution and worth, it’s not niche. It’s everywhere. And you writing about it would be such a gift. Not as a confession, but as a way of saying: here’s something tender and true that doesn’t often get said.
You don’t owe anyone that story (of course) but I’d read it in a heartbeat. And I have a feeling you’re absolutely the right person to write it.
Thank you Danusia. I’m glad you understand. We’re such big wads of emotional and intellectual wet spaghetti! I shall write about this. Thank you for inspiring me to do so.
Thanks for bringing another great interview! It’s always refreshing to get a glance into other’s process.
I’m challenged by the prompt to quit hiding and be more you. Fitting the introduction around the memoir line, as in, where does it go between betrayal (of others and of self) in relation to liberation (of others and of self), I hold a deep exhaustion that I’m still working through around having carried the financial burden on my shoulders while making it look like it’s beautiful and spacious from the outside, which in turn have made the world assume I’m supported by my husband. It’s a tricky balance and I wish all women, and in this case creative women, got to have that stable foundation to be free to express their power without the hidden load of burnout, financial pressures, emotional labor, caring for family etc etc etc etc.
Anyway just some reflections that popped up that feel extremely intimate to me and I’m thinking deeply on how to reflect and talk about it in a way that honors all parts…
Oh Elin. This. All of this. I’m sitting here just nodding and sighing because yes. That bit about carrying the financial load while the world assumes you’re the one being carried? Oof. You’ve always hold such fierce grace, and I know it’s not without cost.
I love how you’re thinking through the memoir line too, betrayal and liberation, self and others. It’s so bloody complicated. And your voice is razor-sharp and full of heart, and I can already feel the utter power of whatever you write next.
Thank you for being here and bringing your whole self, always. I feel so lucky we get to be in this together. 🖤
What, who, me?
Another interesting interview; I always enjoying reading them. I also went and read your story about being investigated... My God, what a nightmare. It can happen to anyone, for the teeniest thing.
As for "being more me", I think I'm rather transparent in my writing, sometimes possibly too much so. I don't know... Where I can hold back is in showing my privileged situation, because it's something I struggle with. I always hoped to be able to support myself financially through my creative endeavours, be it writing, making bags, crocheting bedcovers etc, but the clock is ticking and I doubt it's going to happen! I wanted to flip the script and allow my husband to give up his highly successful but very stressful job decades ago... but now he's retired and no longer stressed. I carry that chip on my shoulder. It gets quite heavy at times. He's never berated me for not earning much money, but I feel a certain guilt about it. So that would be my hang-up. I should write about it, as I'm sure I'm not the only one in this (very lucky) position.
Francesca, I’m so grateful and glad you shared this. That “chip on my shoulder” line 🫶🏼 I know exactly the kind of weight you mean. Isn’t it strange how the parts of our lives we feel grateful for can also carry this hidden tangle of guilt and shame?
What you’ve said here, about money, creative ambition, partnerships, the stories we tell (or don’t tell) about contribution and worth, it’s not niche. It’s everywhere. And you writing about it would be such a gift. Not as a confession, but as a way of saying: here’s something tender and true that doesn’t often get said.
You don’t owe anyone that story (of course) but I’d read it in a heartbeat. And I have a feeling you’re absolutely the right person to write it.
Love,
Danusia xx
Thank you Danusia. I’m glad you understand. We’re such big wads of emotional and intellectual wet spaghetti! I shall write about this. Thank you for inspiring me to do so.
Thanks for bringing another great interview! It’s always refreshing to get a glance into other’s process.
I’m challenged by the prompt to quit hiding and be more you. Fitting the introduction around the memoir line, as in, where does it go between betrayal (of others and of self) in relation to liberation (of others and of self), I hold a deep exhaustion that I’m still working through around having carried the financial burden on my shoulders while making it look like it’s beautiful and spacious from the outside, which in turn have made the world assume I’m supported by my husband. It’s a tricky balance and I wish all women, and in this case creative women, got to have that stable foundation to be free to express their power without the hidden load of burnout, financial pressures, emotional labor, caring for family etc etc etc etc.
Anyway just some reflections that popped up that feel extremely intimate to me and I’m thinking deeply on how to reflect and talk about it in a way that honors all parts…
🥰🥰
Oh Elin. This. All of this. I’m sitting here just nodding and sighing because yes. That bit about carrying the financial load while the world assumes you’re the one being carried? Oof. You’ve always hold such fierce grace, and I know it’s not without cost.
I love how you’re thinking through the memoir line too, betrayal and liberation, self and others. It’s so bloody complicated. And your voice is razor-sharp and full of heart, and I can already feel the utter power of whatever you write next.
Thank you for being here and bringing your whole self, always. I feel so lucky we get to be in this together. 🖤
Big love,
x