Parents that Write #1: Rémy Bazerque
Parents that Write #1: Rémy Bazerque
WARNING: This column might goad your Muse to create
Welcome to this new weekly interview column.
When conversation turns to parent creatives - writers and artists, especially mothers - the focus often shifts to the chaos and supposed impossibility of juggling creativity with parenthood.
—> Let’s CUT THE NOISE:
Parents publish books, drop albums, get screenplays optioned, and pour their souls into poems every single day.
How do they do it? That’s what we’re here to uncover.
I’m delighted to showcase talented parent-writers and creators as they answer eight bite-size questions, plus a few more they pick from a juicy list I send their way. Rémy Bazerque answers ALL the questions, but usually this interview will be shorter. Big thanks to him for showing the full list.
But before we read his interview, here’s a peek behind the scenes of my own creative life.
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
I sketched out the bones of my part-memoir, part-manifesto motherhood book on a remote island that’s just 2 miles long and 1.5 miles wide. Seriously, you read that right.
Here’s how it happened.
It was Twixmas - when everyone’s stuffed with leftovers and half-dreaming of next year’s escape. I stumbled across a feature on magical getaways, and my heart did a full-on backflip for this car-free wilderness haven. This island? Pure, ridiculous beauty.
In a moment of utter madness, I rushed to book it, fully expecting to be too late. But HOLY MOLY: I snagged two weeks, even though it almost cleaned out my bank account.
This isn’t just any island - this is where J.M. Barrie conjured up Peter Pan. No joke, this place is the real-life Neverland. Barrie spent summers here in the early 1900s, roaming the shores, writing the Peter Pan screenplay and the ghostly tale of Mary Rose.
I didn’t think the trip through. Not even close.
A solo drive, car packed to the brim with kids, from the southeast coast up to the Inner Hebrides, all 950km there, then back? Check. Two weeks with zero internet? Check. Ticks? Oh, plenty.
And let’s not forget the rental I couldn’t afford. Tried to back out, but guess what? Locked in, unless I could convince some other equally insane family to take the booking. Spoiler: no takers, though everyone oohed and aah-ed at the idea.
But you know what? It turned out to be a roller-coaster turning point in my writing process.
Can’t wait to tell you more about it, in next week’s column.
Today’s guest is , who writes Enfant Terrible publication - he invites us into his world, with his musings on being an independent filmmaker, father and a human trying to be decent. Rémy doesn't shy away from hard stuff; instead, he leans into it, finding meaning in contrasts and complexities. What I love (along with an army of fellow subscribers) is his big reminder that we’re all just figuring it out as we go.
He is a UK-based French writer-director who trained at the National Film and Television School in the UK. His films have screened at international film festivals, including Flickerfest, Raindance and the London Film Festival.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
Me and my wife have two young girls of 2 and 5. We are both working in creative industries and are based in the UK.
Where can we find you?
Can you share favourite praise for your writing, or words you’d love to read about your work?
Someone once said at film school that I didn't have to worry about voice as no matter what I wrote/directed, it would be me. I thought that was great praise.
Why do you write?
Because writing distracts me from the idea of death. Also it's a rather useful profession.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
Very tormented unfortunately. But also joyful and driven.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
My ability to write is directly impacted when my 2 and 5 year old barge into my office and ransack everything while playing the trumpet. This sort of situation can be avoided with the correct amount of external help; so I keep my eye on this.
On the other hand my capacity to parent in a not wholly neurotic way relies on my ability to squeeze out as much dollar as I can from my work. So it's all about balance.
How often do you write with your children around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child/ren are nearby?
Good god never. I get up way earlier than them to get stuff done.
What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?
I can write uninspired. I think that has helped me many times to places of inspiration. I'm not sure how I discovered it. I vaguely remember a quote saying that this was the difference between the amateur and the professional.
What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?
1/ The ability to get up early
2/ Good ear plugs
3/ A partner who works in petrol
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
Mozzarella sticks, as these are the only thing keeping the kids away.
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
My wife, as she manages to tolerate me in the process.
What are your coping tactics for being (constantly) interrupted in your thought process?
My tactic is to place a thick, wooden door in between me and the screams.
What’s your best writing time?
05am
What motivates you to write amongst the flurry of family life?
The desire to do something useful, and also chocolate bars.
You’re a writer: name 3 of your procrastination techniques.
I set very low targets to make sure I succeed. Also I bully myself with guilt.
How much torture/pleasure is involved in your writing life and in what form does it come?
There is definitely too much suffering, but I'm working on it. I never experience blank page, but I get dread page, when the self critic gets way over the top, and everything is a pile of shit.
I have to keep my self critic in check, because it's ferocious.
On the other end I get some real moments of grace sometimes. When all conditions are perfect, when it's still night, that the coffee is warm and there is nothing by me and the keyboard... I like that very much.
If your writing discipline was a food, what would it be?
I guess an oyster. Hard to open but with sometimes something nice in the inside.
Do you use any productivity hacks like toggling, Pomodoro, Focusmate? Spill the beans.
I have no ideas what any of these things are! Actually Susbtack is a really good productivity hack, having to write and publish regularly on Substack builds up an amazing habit.
Which three (parent) writers make you think, “Damn, I wish I could write like this”.
On Substack I'm a big fan of , and for instance. I think their writing is remarkable. Beyond Substack there are so many it's really hard to single one out.
What unfinished writing projects do you have lying about?
I have a novel which I’m working on these days.
If you could have a conversation with any writer throughout history (who was also a parent) about their writing routine and creative process, who would that person be, and why?
Gosh this one is such a difficult question. It would have to be someone contemporary as I think we can't compare. I guess I would want to talk to , who is also on Substack and who is inspiring as someone writing through hardship.
What is the favourite sentence you’ve ever written, and why?
I will cheat a little and say that my favourite sentence is my next one.
Share a picture of what ‘A Room of One’s Own’ means to you, and why.
A thick door with a lock, a comfy chair, the AC, some coffee...
What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?
I like dressing like a bag, eating like a pig and smoking tobacco. None of it very healthy I'm afraid.
What music do you listen to while writing?
I exclusively listen to ambient and video game OSTs when I write. I love classical music, but it's all too 'good' for me to not pay attention to. So I need something not too ambitious artistically, at just the right level. Good music is for daydreaming, for listening to. Video game music is designed to be non disruptive.
What’s your favourite quote from a writer?
I don't really have one favorite quote, but I can give you a line from one of my screenwriting and directing teacher. A line he liked to serve us at the end of a long review or after a screening.
"Do good."
An Encore
"Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly." -- Franz Kafka
My best practice (not habit) is writing even if I only have 10 mins instead of waiting for long chunks of time.
That Franz Kafka quote is perfection. There's so much focus on trends and secret sauces to get published and fitting into genre stereotypes when everyone should just write whatever wild thing is in their heart. You know, around the kids shouting "mommy" from outside the door or breaking in to hand you 1000 trinkets or trying to climb on your lap to type themselves. I also have two young kids, 2.5 and 6. When I write, the 2.5 year old just yells at me and the 6 year old guilt-trips me (usually driven by boredom).