Circus inside her Head

Parents that Write #17 Q&A with Nicola Washington

Welcome to this weekly interview column.

When we talk about parent creatives ~ writers, artists, content creators ~ the focus often lands on the chaos of balancing creativity and parenting. Let’s CUT THROUGH THIS NOISE:

—> Parents publish books, drop albums, option screenplays, and create art + content every day.

How? That’s what we’re here to uncover. Let’s find out as my guests answer eight quick questions, plus a few they handpick from a list. Before we meet today’s guest, here’s a tiny look into my own creative life:

No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that my book NOISE was a labour of love from the very beginning. From deciding to set up my own imprint, Triumph Press, to working through production decisions like book size and paper quality, each step was carefully thought out.

Last week, I shared how I scoured the globe for the top book cover designers, narrowing down my list with forensic quirk. This week, I’ll take you to the next stage: getting to the interviews.

After scoring my gut response to hundreds of book covers, I’d nailed down a top 10. This wasn’t just any list. These were some of the best designers in the world, the kind whose work routinely graces award-winning, bestseller-bound books. Getting through to them felt like trying to grab the moon.

So, I got resourceful. Some designers had websites with contact details easy enough to find. Yay. Many? Practically invisible. I hunted everywhere - emails buried on obscure pages, tools like RocketReach - to make sure my pitch landed in their inboxes.

My emails were simple, direct, and rooted in one truth: I wanted NOISE to have the best cover possible.

To my surprise (and delight), six of my dream designers were keen. The others? Fully booked or politely unavailable.

From those six, I had four absolute standouts. One, whose work I’d admired for years, eventually responded, but only to say they were booked solid. Cue heartbreak.

Killed Cover by Sara Wood - nothing to do with my book project

That left me with three incredible designers from my original top 10.

I knew all of them had the skill to create something extraordinary for NOISE. Now it was time to see if their vision, their process, and (let’s be real) their pricing aligned with mine.

These were designers at the top of their game, yet here they were, interested in working on my book. It was proof that sometimes, all you need is a bit of audacity. Yes, barriers exist. But you’ll never know what’s possible until you step up and take the chance.

Next week, I’ll reveal who I chose, why they stood out, and how I briefed them to bring NOISE to life. I’ll also be in conversation with my fabulous guest, Carley Moore who writes My Subby. Hope to see you there for the next step in this journey!

Today, I bring you my conversation with Nicola Washington author of the brill Substack Too Much - a publication about conquering social media overwhelm for writers and book lovers. With sharp insights and practical tips, she helps people build authentic connections without drowning in the digital chaos. It’s all about making Instagram, for instance, work for your creativity, not the other way around.

Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?

My children are 9 and 12 and while they're at school, to pay the bills, I run my own business as an Instagram strategist and educator for writers. Some of this involves writing articles for my own Substack (or for other people) and I try to fit most of my paid work into the school day. Sometimes it spills over into the evenings around extra-curricular clubs, homework, cooking and the never-ending tidying up, and the school holidays are always a challenge, but I count myself lucky to have the flexibility to work from home at times that suit my family.
My personal writing - I've been writing a novel for the last 4 years and occasionally dabble in short stories - tends to happen at the weekends but sometimes I switch things around because I can ;-). As well as the children, I also share my home with my husband, and a socially-awkward Whippet.

Where can we find you?

Website | Instagram |

Can you share favourite praise for your writing?

Back in the days when I blogged I once received feedback that my writing was 'self-masturbatory'. I felt the 'self' was excessive, but I've never forgotten it.

Nowadays most of my writing is done in service of my business so there isn't much praise for my craft there, but if I was to imagine what I'd love a reader to say about my novel-in-progress it would something like... 'Poignant and gripping, Washington asks serious questions about what the future will be like in the face of accelerating climate breakdown, and who we will be prepared to sacrifice in order to survive.'

Why do you write?

My brain is a circus and there are times when the only thing that helps me finish a thought is to write it down. Often I don't know what my point is when I begin and although I sometimes feel my way there, my drafts folder will attest to how often I leave threads dangling. Even when I don't quite manage to wrap things up with a bow however, I find the act of putting words down on paper or screen is one of the few things that slows and focuses my brain.
Absorbing myself in my fiction brings me another level of calm - it's like a spa for my brain. I leave feeling rested and refreshed, pleasantly empty and blank, as though I've literally just poured myself onto the page.

What does the inside of your writing mind look like?

Almost every time I sit down to write it's like finding myself at the centre of a maze that I have to find my way out of. There are numerous paths I can take and it's not until I've gone down them that I'll know whether they're dead ends or not. There's a lot of doubling-back and retracing my steps and sometimes I get completely lost. But if there's one thing I am, it's tenacious so I just keep going and sometimes I escape.

How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?

Like most parents, I don't have as much time to write (for myself) as I would like, although I also wonder how well I would use more time if I had it. I think the constraints are good for me but there's also a tipping point where if I haven't had enough time to write it negatively affects my parenting. I feel coiled up and over-flowing which affects my tolerance for the relentless physical and emotional demands of parenting. Writing makes me a better parent.

How often do you write with your child around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?

My desk is in the kitchen (and I get a stiff neck if I try to sit on the settee or bed to write) so I often write around my children. Now they are older and able to wipe their own bums and fetch their own snacks I don't find they distract me as much although there are times I ask them to turn down the shouty You-Tubers they favour, or stop bouncing a basketball inside, because certain noises get right inside my skull.

What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?

I find it almost impossible to form habits - it's one of the 'delights' of my circus/ squirrel brain. For example, when people tell me they have rituals or routines that they follow to ease themselves into writing I don't understand how they remember to do them without a flashing neon sign above their desk.

What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?

➡️ Tenacity
➡️ A willingness to be really really bad
➡️ A reasonable amount of selfishness

On the latter, please don't feel sorry for my family, they get plenty of me, and if I waited until someone gifted me the time to write, I'd be waiting forever. I think it's ok to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

What or who is your secret writing weapon?

That's easy - my writing group. They're five incredibly talented women who I meet (online) monthly to discuss our work, vent about writing or publishing woes, and cackle-laugh about basically anything. We started meeting just as the country shut down for the first Covid lockdown in 2020 and they kept me sane then, and continue to be some of the best people in my life. Penny, Sarah, Caro, Hannah and Ilona - if you're reading this, it might be the closest I ever get to an acknowledgments page so I'd like to publicly say, THANK YOU!

What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?

I know how cliched this might sound, but I think it's my children. Their arrival interrupted the path I was on, flattened my entire identity, and forced me to reimagine who I wanted to be in the world. Motherhood was, and continues to be, transformative and radicalising, and without my children I don't know if I ever would have reconnected with the creativity that makes all that possible.

What’s your best writing time?

6pm-9pm. Which is also the time when the kids need me most so that's unfortunate. When their dad is around to cook at the weekends I often sit down to write at 6pm.

You’re a writer: name 3 of your procrastination techniques.

1. Laundry - the QUEEN of household chores. I love the smell of freshly washed clothes and the rhythm of hanging them out. I have a system and I try really hard not to get annoyed when people are helpful but mess it up. Given a choice between writing and laundry, to my shame, I often choose laundry.

2. Ruminating over whether there's enough time to do some writing between one task and the next for so long that I run out of time.

3. Spending extra time on paid work that could be spent writing. I keep trying to 'pay myself first' by writing in the morning but there's always this voice in my head that insists emails are more important.

How much torture/pleasure is involved in your writing life and in what form does it come?

It's not always fun, but it's never torture. In fact, I find the whole 'tortured writer' schtick a bit tiresome. If you're tortured by your art, I wonder if it's nothing to do with the art - you could be stacking shelves and still feel just as shit.

What music do you listen to while writing?

I don't! Ever. Which often upsets people lol. So many people have such strong opinions about this that I've doubted myself in the past and tried to listen to different kinds of music while I work, but I find it impossible to think if there's a beat, lyrics, or any kind of emotional suggestion in the air. These days I have the TV on low in the background while I write, or just the noises of my household. I don't like total silence.

Closing out this Column with:

“If writing isn’t a joy for the writer to write, it won’t be a joy for the reader to read.” - Austin Kleon

I have a question for you:

Nicola admits she often chooses laundry over writing (we’ve all been there!). What’s your writing OR? Laundry? Scrolling? Rearranging the spice rack for the third time this week? If you have a thing that keeps pulling you away from the page please share. I’m all ears.

I hope you’ve found this week’s column helpful!

Toodles,
Danusia x