Just brilliant. I had a feeling this was going to be good, and it was. Thank you, Danusia. The timing is perfect too.
I'm writing a novel, about a woman who walks away and fulfills a fantasy, and to do some research I have booked a ticket and am heading off on a train this Wednesday, by myself, to Venice - the first time in 40 years of marriage I've done this, and without asking g his permission. It feels so rebellious.
This made me grin and tear up all at once. Venice! A train! Forty years! It’s like the world’s best love letter to yourself. Thank you for sharing this with me Sue, I’ll be cheering from here as you step into that beautiful rebellion.
Ah, thank you. It's wonderful to feel the support of everyone here, waving me off. Here's one I wrote earlier on seeking permission or not, as the case may be:
Love, love, loved this! Imagine how much more we could teach our children if we allowed ourselves to openly want. They might see that we are whole humans, that openness is healthy, that they - yes even our daughters - have the right to want too. I’ve often found that naming a complex emotion tempers its destructive power. I wonder… maybe daring to speak aloud the feelings that clearly run deep within many (if not all) of us might just do the same. Thank you for collating and sharing this incredible piece of writing, I’ll be thinking hard about this for a long time, I think!
The thing this underscores wonderfully for me is just how unusual it is for women to express their own desires at all to one another. Let alone to see them all collected in one place.
Perhaps especially after marriage and children.
Before this point, I think women do talk, perhaps not so much about sexual fantasies, but they do talk a bit at least about sex.
After marriage or kids, the chat seems to dissolve, unless perhaps it is in the clinical context of what creams might help someone feel more lubricated after menopause.
Even then this topic won’t be top of a talking agenda.
Why is that ? Is it because we think that we’re expected not to do it ? Or we have grown so used to not thinking about what we want?
It just looks so good to have them all gathered here, like a wonderful basket of different chattering fruit, saying ‘listen to me, let’s talk and listen to one another, for I am not dead yet!’
Just brilliant. I had a feeling this was going to be good, and it was. Thank you, Danusia. The timing is perfect too.
I'm writing a novel, about a woman who walks away and fulfills a fantasy, and to do some research I have booked a ticket and am heading off on a train this Wednesday, by myself, to Venice - the first time in 40 years of marriage I've done this, and without asking g his permission. It feels so rebellious.
This made me grin and tear up all at once. Venice! A train! Forty years! It’s like the world’s best love letter to yourself. Thank you for sharing this with me Sue, I’ll be cheering from here as you step into that beautiful rebellion.
Ah, thank you. It's wonderful to feel the support of everyone here, waving me off. Here's one I wrote earlier on seeking permission or not, as the case may be:
https://open.substack.com/pub/suereed/p/to-be-a-writer-in-venice?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1cn6l0
Oh I love this! Venice! What an adventure - I immediately imagine the gelato that tastes of fresh ice cold freedom. Enjoy lovely!
Haha, thanks. I'll think of you and that fab line, Louise, as I lick a gelato in a Campo. If I get it together I’ll snap a selfie and tag you. 😘
A selfie in Venice eating “freedom-flavoured” gelato? That’s the content the world needs. Enjoy every lick, Sue!
Google translate tells me this is:
gelato al gusto di libertà
I think I now have a chapter heading…dare me to ask for one? 🍦
Louise! Fresh ice-cold freedom, what a line. I can taste it too. Here’s to women taking trains, licking gelato, and choosing themselves 🫶
Sue you must be so excited ! I remember you booking the trip. You are in for a treat if you like opera too as it is opera season 🎭
Oh blimey, that would be pushing the gondola out, off to look up the Fenice’s website!
Pushing the gondola out 😆Great line
Fortunately (or unfortunately) the full opera season isn't in full swing when I'm there. Another time! 🎭
Love, love, loved this! Imagine how much more we could teach our children if we allowed ourselves to openly want. They might see that we are whole humans, that openness is healthy, that they - yes even our daughters - have the right to want too. I’ve often found that naming a complex emotion tempers its destructive power. I wonder… maybe daring to speak aloud the feelings that clearly run deep within many (if not all) of us might just do the same. Thank you for collating and sharing this incredible piece of writing, I’ll be thinking hard about this for a long time, I think!
What a gorgeous reflection, yes, exactly that. When mothers allow themselves to want, we widen the world for our children too.
I love what you say about naming as tempering; it’s such a deep truth. Thank you for reading with such care and love. ❤️
It was worth the wait :)
The thing this underscores wonderfully for me is just how unusual it is for women to express their own desires at all to one another. Let alone to see them all collected in one place.
Perhaps especially after marriage and children.
Before this point, I think women do talk, perhaps not so much about sexual fantasies, but they do talk a bit at least about sex.
After marriage or kids, the chat seems to dissolve, unless perhaps it is in the clinical context of what creams might help someone feel more lubricated after menopause.
Even then this topic won’t be top of a talking agenda.
Why is that ? Is it because we think that we’re expected not to do it ? Or we have grown so used to not thinking about what we want?
It just looks so good to have them all gathered here, like a wonderful basket of different chattering fruit, saying ‘listen to me, let’s talk and listen to one another, for I am not dead yet!’
This was sooooo good! And I’m HERE for it all. The retreats sounds….sensational….and something that my weary bones and mind would relish ♥️