THRIVE: life in the cracks with Sara El-Sayeh
Parents that Write #14 Q&A
Welcome to my weekly interview column.
When we talk about parent creatives ~ writers, artists, content creators ~ the focus often lands on the chaos of balancing creativity and parenting. Let’s CUT THE NOISE:
—> Parents publish books, drop albums, option screenplays, and create art + content every day.
How? That’s what we’re here to uncover. Let’s find out as my guests answer eight quick questions, plus a few they handpick from a list. Before we meet today’s guest, here’s a tiny look into my own creative life:
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
In previous notes here, I’ve shared the key steps in launching Triumph Press and bringing NOISE (my motherhood identity book) to life - from the minutiae of choosing a compact book size to selecting the right paper and printer. This week, I want to get into what it was like balancing my regular day job, life with a big brood (6—7-8 of 10 kids at anytime), and all the book production tasks.
At this stage, I wasn’t exactly writing chapters or shaping the book’s final structure. I was running my business (mostly virtually) due to COVID, managing life at home as older kids came home full time to join the rest of us, and figuring out the entire book production process for the first time.
Each new production step — from securing ISBNs, coordinating with editors, and deciding on cover and paper quality revealed how much there was still to manage. I’d set an initial publication date. Was I fool or what, I asked on the daily? As the realities of production unfolded, it became clear that I’d need to push this date way back from November one year to March the next, to make room for each task. To make room for myself and my whole life.
Juggling these demands didn’t help me with my ‘plan to create an intentional structure’ for NOISE.
I was pressed back against the wall, navigating production deadlines and adjusting timelines as I went. These decisions impacted the process in unexpected ways, keeping me focused on what I could manage at that moment without worrying about the rest. I noticed (not for the first time) that writing about motherhood while immersed within it hardly gave me chance to breathe enough to write. Ironically, I needed to tell printers how many pages NOISE would have, within multiples of a specific number I’ve blanked from memory!
For now, it was enough to keep moving forward, knowing that once production was on track, the time for writing would (somehow) come. It had to but I had no idea how or when. I’m so looking forward to sharing how, in the end, I found ways to write. Trust me it took ingenuity and a good deal of support from people who care for me, and for the messages I share!
Next week, I’ll begin sharing about my favourite part of NOISE: the cover design. My guest, , will talk about her intentional approaches to carving out space for writing and other creative, soul-nourishing endeavours. Hope to see you there for the next step in this journey!
Today, I’m thrilled to bring you , author of - a thought-provoking space where she navigates themes of identity, culture, and resilience as a solo parent and writer. With every post, Sara captures the raw beauty of life’s intersections, offering readers her takes on what it means to build, create, and thrive against the odds.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
I'm a single mother of two kids, Zein is 7 and Mariam is 21 months old. Their father and I got a divorce days before Mariam's first birthday after a draining 7 year marriage. I haven't been part of the formal labor market since 2016, we live in Cairo, Egypt where I was also born and raised. When I'm not too broke to function, I write and offer imagination workshops. I'm trying to find ways where the system can work for my chosen style of parenting (which means I've had to succumb to reverse/downward economic mobility) or invent new ways of participation in new economies. I have a master's degree in economics in international development and love contemplating notions of belonging, community, decolonizing and (M)othering. <-- generational healing for me as I was very othered by my own mother.
Where can we find you?
Can you share favourite praise for your writing, or words you’d love to read about your work?
I love it when people connect with my writing in ways that makes them feel something I also love it when people view things differently, even for a moment, because of something I wrote.
Why do you write?
I write to process my life. I've been writing for as long as I can remember and I've been doing it on English, which is my second language. Writing reveals a lot to me, about who I am and how I relate to the world around me. When I'm lonely and missing an adult to talk to, I write. I write on my phone with a child in my arms in bed at night, mostly.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
Like sitting at a writing desk by a window and there's nature outside and I'm just running through the thoughts. I gather one, or pick one, like I would harvest a fruit or a flower and run with it. I never know where my writing would take me or where I would end up.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
I write in spurts because of my being a parent, unless the kids have gone to sleep for the night. This is the time when I do my most focused writing. Or at least the more thoughtful, long form writing. It's because of my parenthood that I have resorted to writing vignettes, flash and braided essays. My ability to parent is deeply affected by the time I allow, dedicate or give myself for writing everyday. When I say writing saves me, it's not an exaggeration. Writing really does make me a better human and a better parent.
How often do you write with your child around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?
My children are always around. Unless my son is at school or in practice I'm at least with one child around all the time. I capture ideas on the move or while preparing food then come back to them on the metro, while the kids sleep or if their father is around to parent.
Late night writing has become my favorite, and while I most often write on my phone, my wrists are beginning to hurt, so I'm slowly getting back to the laptop.
I still write old-school as well. Most of my poetry is written on paper first (though I don't share or publish most of it)
What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?
Write anywhere, anytime just get some writing done every single day. Mary Oliver is my biggest inspiration when it comes to this and Summer Brennan helped me practice it.
What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?
1) A lot of ideas and thoughts will come through or influenced by the kids and I love it. 2) I think all artists thrive under constraints, because containers are wonderful for creativity. Being an evolved and engaged parent makes me a better writer. 3) Frustration. When I'm not all bright, cheery and hopeful about life, I'm very frustrated with the amount of interruptions I experience in my process. And even that, I write about.
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
Google docs. 🤭 In all seriousness, reading things out loud is my secret weapon.
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
Yearning. My yearning has been my most significant creative influence. Ever. And a purple sunset I experienced by the Mediterranean in Alexandria when I was twenty.
What are your coping tactics for being (constantly) interrupted in your thought process?
Writing on my phone and revisiting my writing later, I like to be surprised with what I write. Also, experimenting with different writing formats like hermit crab writing, vignettes and braided essays has helped me a lot. I don't need to hold a thread of thought for long. I call those creative sprints feral sessions: co-creating with the chaos of life.
What’s your best writing time?
When the kids are asleep whenever that is. Usually I do best in co-writing contexts (virtual) and between 1-5 am
What motivates you to write amongst the flurry of family life?
It keeps me sane. It gives me substance and something to call my own.
You’re a writer: name 3 of your procrastination techniques.
Getting my email to zero, bathing the kids, online courses.
How much torture/pleasure is involved in your writing life and in what form does it come?
I'm guilty of being the mom who's looking at her phone too much "but I promise it's not mindless scrolling" is what I tell myself to make it okay. My eyes hurt, my wrists hurt and I just wish I would have my own writing nook and time but alas, this is not the case.
If your writing discipline was a food, what would it be?
A smorgasbord
Do you use any productivity hacks like toggling, Pomodoro, Focusmate?
Pomodoro and one small thing which I learnt from Jen Lemen. We basically listen for 5 minutes and do (write, create, meditate, whatever) for 15.
What unfinished writing projects do you have lying about?
A Field Guide for the Dreamer Living Through the End of Times and 1 Thing Journal
What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?
Would I even be a writer if I don't say coffee?
Closing out this Column with:
“People came to see me because they knew I was playing close to the edge and one day I might fail” -- Nina Simone
Best answer ever to “if you writing discipline were a food!” Ditto, friend!