Welcome to Parents That Write.
Parent writers, artists, and creators are more than just their ‘chaos’—we’re publishing books, dropping albums, optioning screenplays, and making magic every day.
How do they do it? That's what we're here to find out. Each week, my guests tackle eight quickfire questions, plus a few wildcards. But first, a peek into my own creative life:
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
So I Accidentally Sold 5,000 Books (and no, I Did NOT Shout About It on LinkedIn)
Here’s a thing I didn’t plan: NOISE is almost sold out.
We’re talking zip ad budget, zilch launch frenzy, zero funnel-shaped circus tent, and still, just shy of 5,000 copies out in the world.
No praying to the algorithm gods or stuffing my face into a ring light every morning to beg for attention. Just a small book that people wanted, and keep wanting.
To put that in perspective:
Most traditionally published nonfiction books sell 250–500 copies in their first year.
Most self-published nonfiction books? Fewer than 250 copies over their entire shelf life.
A book that hits 2,000 lifetime sales? That’s considered a solid success.
5,000? That’s upper-tier territory, especially for an independently published nonfiction non-standard-sized book on motherhood.
And I’m not done. Because this wasn’t a fluke. It’s proof that books with backbone that don’t pander, or require a personality cult to carry them, still sell.
Remember, I chose to do this without relentless fanfare, launch porn, or traditional gatekeepers.
And still, NOISE landed in homes, in hands, in lives I’ll never see.
I’ll be working on a second edition soon. She’ll be sharper. And I’m tempted to bring her right here to Substack. To make the next version even more alive, more in-progress, more us.
But for now?
A small number of first edition copies remain. I’ll tell you all about what I’m planning for the final few copies in next week’s No-Fluff column! Thank you for accompanying me on this part of my creative adventure. Next week I’ll be joined by the wildly talented writer and parent,
. Hope to see you here!Meet , a parent, poet, and queer community builder who writes like they’re living inside a magical realist novel. They bring optimism, mischief, and a refusal to be neatly summed up. I reached out to hear more about how their creative life unfolds alongside parenting, here’s what they shared.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
My life as a parent, currently, looks like this:
I have a co-parent. The wondrous father of and to my children, who now lives an hour away, in the city. We were officially married until 2018, but romantically uncoupled in 2013 in order to focus our energies on the people we both loved most; our children.
I live in a small town full of creative people, and fisher people. A UNESCO world heritage site, with my spouse.
We moved to the east coast of Canada, where my former husband is from. I say former, because ex is too harsh and does not describe my feelings toward my friend, and the man who is father to my children.
We moved here because his father was ill. Since then his father has died, and his grandmother and just recently his mother. My children have lost three grandparents in six months.
My former husband works from home. My spouse works from home.
I was primary parent to both our kids until we moved to Nova Scotia and then last year my youngest kiddo decided to go to school in the city, and our eldest goes back and forth every ten days. For fourteen years we either lived altogether, or next door to each other. Since 2023 we’ve lived an hour apart.
I stayed at home for the most part, or had my own business and prioritized parenting while managing to pursue my artistic career(s) in the evenings and weekends. I have been a poet, comedian, storyteller, and produced shows, events and ran a community space.
All throughout my children’s lives we’ve been thousands of kilometres away from our biological family and have relied on chosen family for support. We’ve lived in brilliant places with kind people.
2023 marked a change in that we finally had access to nearby grandparents. And now they have all passed on.
Now that my children are teenagers and my youngest happy in school, and my eldest capable of looking after himself during the day I have decided to restart my community space and am currently looking at buildings for that venture.
I have finished writing a novelette, and I have written in Substack nearly every day since January 3rd, 2024.
Where can we find you?
Can you share favourite praise for your writing?
I have sent my novelette off to 42 people and received some words of support that made my heart sparkle, including and I paraphrase:
-you’ve put into words things I felt but didn’t have the words for
-your novelette made me cry little pockets of tears
-I haven’t finished your book yet because I carry it around in my purse and pull it out when I need to feel better
The fact that people have taken time to read my writing, ever, will never not be surprising to me. I am ever grateful for their gentle words of encouragement, and that they want to share their feelings with me.
Why do you write?
Because I can’t not write. I’m a graphomaniac. When I don’t write my brain gets too full and I can feel the words building like I’m a volcano. I credit my mother and father with my writing obsession.
When my mother had my brother I was 22 months old. To keep me from bothering her she put me in a corner with letters on pages and told me to copy them. I taught myself to write and read fluently by the age of three.
At 6 my father gave me my first journal. I think to keep me from talking his ear off while we fished and hunted, so I wouldn’t scare away the animals. Once I realized I could clear the words from my head by writing, that was it, I was hooked.
I have been writing every day for 40 years.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
A jumble. Colours, feelings, emotions. When I type or write it is like an oil spill. I don’t always know where it’s going, and it can be dangerous if I don’t stop to edit, and read the things I’m saying.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
Hmmm. I have always, somehow, managed to find time to write. Even when I was parenting two babies full time. I had to. To stay balanced.
My children and their adventures have given me plenty to write about. Often they would sit and write with me. We all loved to read and to write. My youngest…his series of books called Sheep Birds, is still one of my favourite things in the world. He wrote thirteen small books when he was 8.
I am grateful for children who understand that writing is necessary to the health of my entire self. That when I have a chance to write I am more patient, and gentler.
How often do you write with your child around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?
When they were younger I would spend the time when they were napping writing. I would go on long drives until they fell asleep, and then park and write. Now that they are teenagers I can just say, see you in an hour. But often I write when everyone is asleep. I do my best writing between 2am and 5am when there are no other demands to distract me.
What is your best writing habit?
Writing is like breathing to me. I have to do it. I think my best habit is using writing as a reward for when I get other things done. Do the laundry…I get to write something. Finish the dishes…I get to write something. Do the hard thing…write something.
Writing is pleasure. Writing is necessary. I have to build the other things into habit. Writing is something I am compelled to do.
What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?
I wouldn’t even hazard to answer this. Because I don’t have the answers. I only know what works for me.
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
…that I’m an endless fount of stories? A person who sees connections between everything? My ability to recognize patterns? My love of writing?
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
Life itself. Awe. I find everything fascinating.
What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?
Sitting outside with a cup of tea, and my writing music playlist on. With no one else about.
What music do you listen to while writing? Share a playlist! please include a link
What’s your favourite quote from a writer?
C’est tellement mysterieux le pays des larmes- Antoine de Saint-Exupery from Le Petit Prince.
My Dad read it to me when I was five years old, and I have read it every year, once a year, ever since. I carry a copy in my purse. I loved it so much that I had it tattooed on my back.
It means: The land of tears, it is so mysterious.
Closing out this Column with:
“I wrote myself into the world” - - Octavia Butler
CALLING ALL PARENTS WHO THINK (AND CREATE) TO THE COMMENTS 📓✨👇🏻
Wake writes at 2am when the world falls quiet. You? Voice notes while walking? Notes app on the train? Scraps of dialogue on receipts?
Where do your words sneak out, and how do you make space for them? Let’s swap strategies, and secret rewards, in the comments.
As always, HUGELY appreciative that you are here and reading, if you’ve enjoyed, please do HEART like, comment, and most of all, SHARE using the little recycle button. It really does help with visibility on this platform. Thank you!
Thank you, incredibly, for wanting to ask me questions, and for caring about my words.
It is such an honour to be a part of this series. I love how different the creative practice of each parent who writes is. How we all manage to do it, somehow.
I caught one typo…where I accidentally wrote post instead of poet. (Or the autocorrected, because I caught it trying to edit poet to post just then!) but as a poet, I think post works. I am an actor for my children, a fence-post in the ground, and gives them security and a sturdy presence which they can come back to if they are overwhelmed.
Post or poet. They both work.
Thank you again Danusia! I appreciate you beyond measure.