Sips and Sacred Prompts

Parents that Write #19 Q&A with Océane Meftah

Welcome to this weekly interview column.

When we talk about parent creatives ~ writers, artists, content creators ~ the focus often lands on the chaos of balancing creativity and parenting. Let’s CUT THROUGH THIS NOISE:

—> Parents publish books, drop albums, option screenplays, and create art + content every day.

How? That’s what we’re here to uncover. Let’s find out as my guests answer eight quick questions, plus a few they handpick from a list. Before we meet today’s guest, here’s a tiny look into my own creative life:

No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life

In case you’re new here or need a refresher, No-Fluff Notes has been a ride so far. We've tackled everything from the birth of Triumph Press to choosing the perfect book size and finding a cover designer who could bring NOISE (my motherhood identity book) to life (spoiler: Rodrigo Corral won the gig). I’m meant to be talking about how we got the design process rolling, but today, I’m throwing in a curveball.

Writers and publishers alike need good resources, and one I can’t get enough of is

Nathaniel Roy

’s Substack. He’s got that rare combo of wit, insight, and honesty, taking us behind the scenes of publishing with reflections on everything from literary trends to how the sausage gets made. It’s smart, sharp, and endlessly useful—exactly the kind of thing I wish I'd had when I started out.

But I don’t want this to be a one-way street. What about you? Got any killer Substacks that have been a lifeline for your creative or publishing journey? Drop your recommendations. Share ‘em below.

Next week, I’ll get back to the cover process with Rodrigo and how we shaped NOISE’s visual identity. I might even post a killed cover or two for you to see! My guest,

Elizabeth Austin

will also share how parenthood influences her creative life. Hope to see you there for the next step in this journey!

Today, I’m excited to be in conversation with

Océane Meftah

. Her Substack The Curious Magpie is a vibrant celebration of creativity, time, and storytelling. An illustrator, designer, and parent, Océane explores how we can find pockets of time to nurture creativity amidst life's whirl of work and parenting.

Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?

I’m mum to 2 boys (Noah 13 and Corin 6) I co-parent Noah with my ex-husband though Noah lives with me. The boys, my partner and I live in South East London. I’m French by birth but a Londoner for over 20 years now. My partner is half French so we speak a mix of French and English at home - sometimes within the same sentence, which can be quite funny!

I have a full time job in administration which after going through a restructure last year brings me very little joy. For the past 4 years, I’ve been navigating being a ‘spare time’ creative. I used to design stationery but recently closed down my e-shop to focus on building a portfolio of patterns which I design under the brand name Papergraphie and writing via my Substack publication The Curious Magpie. I like to say that I’m a writer who draws and an illustrator who writes (you choose!) Through my membership I aim to inspire people to find pockets of time to be creative with the gift of prompts and hosting online drawing sessions and challenges.

I studied publishing and screenwriting so writing feels like it’s in my blood. I’ve recently started writing fiction again after years of giving it up and it feels rather wonderful.

In 2024 I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. For the past year and a half I’ve been living with pain for extensive periods. It’s something both myself and my family are having to learn to live with. Writing has done wonders for my mental state and the days I’m at my worse physically and mentally. I’m also learning to be a parent in pain which I’m finding is a whole different world of parenting in itself.

Where can we find you?

My Substack | Instagram | Website

Can you share favourite praise for your writing?

Someone commented this on one of my essays: ‘What a gut punch in the best way. Something I’m always needing to remind myself of, so thank you!’

I never thought that I’d be thrilled to have ‘gut punched’ someone with my words but writing is full of surprises.

Why do you write?

Because it would hurt me not to.

What does the inside of your writing mind look like?

I imagine it like the roots of a tree—tangled, winding, and growing. Each thought and idea is like a root, branching off in different directions, exploring through curiosity and connection. Some roots grow deep, digging into the soil, while others spread out, seeking new paths. It’s a maze, where ideas intertwine and overlap, creating endless possibilities.

How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?

Being a parent and also having a full-time job means my time is always limited. I’ve said many times that time is my enemy but I’m working on being more content with the time I do have. I get a lot of inspiration for my art and for my writing from being a parent. I often write about an idea or a theme which was born from parenting or my children, however subtle the connection might be.

Of course, my creativity has affected my parenting. I may not be as present as a parent who doesn’t write but I’ve always thought parenting was about finding your personal balance of quality and quantity. And I think my writing allows me to model creativity and self-expression for my children which they will take into adulthood and I hope will enrich their lives.

How often do you write with your child around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when your child is nearby?

All the time, otherwise I would never get any writing done.

I have a full-time day job so my writing mostly happens in the evenings and at the weekend when my children are around. We often ‘write’ together, when my youngest practices his spelling for school, I get my laptop out and might write a little bit alongside him. I think it’s important that they see me doing something I love.

Since I started writing on Substack, I found that I can ‘write’ in unusual places, like soft plays and playgrounds. Writing down thoughts and ideas to be developed later counts as writing in my books.

What is your best writing habit and how did you discover it?

When I need to write, I put on instrumental music and somehow it tells my brain: ‘This is it. Time to write’. I used to try to write in silence and that blocked me, my thoughts were too loud, then I tried music with lyrics and that just didn’t work, the lyrics covered the words in my head and made them hard to reach.

I’ve discovered lots of lovely instrumental music because of this new habit, some classical but also alternative and jazzy. Even when I have 20 mins to write while dinner is cooking and my youngest is watching TV in the same room, I somehow manage to put some earphones on and write. The music always seems to put me in the right frame of mind.

What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?

➡️ Selfishness: I believe that there’s a need for a certain level of selfishness that comes with making time and space for my creative work. It means allowing myself time to prioritise my creativity. This can feel challenging, but it’s important because I believe it not only makes me a more fulfilled individual but also a better parent. It’s about recognising that my needs and passions matter too, that amongst my parenting responsibilities, I’m also a person. Selfishness has a bad rep but in this case I see it as just another type of self-care.
➡️ Planning: Balancing writing, full-time work and parenting requires careful planning. I like having a calendar monthly view of my writing plan so I can dedicate windows of time to write. I do have to be open to things changing which is why I always write in pencil in my calendar - I don’t have to cross anything out, it can just been rubbed off and moved to another day (this makes me feel better!)
➡️ Acceptance: This is a big one! And it works both ways, it’s about accepting that progress might be slower than it would be without children and being okay with that reality. But also, that often I will have to say to my kids: ‘not now, I’m in the middle of writing but if you give me an hour, I’m all yours’. Finding a compromise that works for me and for them. Acceptance is also about letting go of perfectionism and adjusting my expectations, allowing myself to wear the many life ‘hats’ that make up who I am without parental guilt and creative frustration.

What or who is your secret writing weapon?

The notes app on my phone. Whatever I’m doing, it’s the best way to record a thought or idea quickly.

And prompts! I just love a prompt. Whether I’m designing a pattern or writing something, having a simple prompt just gets me started.

What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?

Past: my grandmother was very creative, she did watercolours, sewing, embroidery, silk painting etc. She wasn’t the warm and fussy kind of grandmother and I rarely got included in her creative activities but on some level I think she must have influenced my creative curiosity.

Present: my partner, Justin, who’s a sound designer. Watching him edit dialogue for films but also teach students to record instruments and vocals is very inspirational. He edited the voiceover I recorded for an essay I published on Substack and gave me a crash course in voice editing, it was fascinating.

What unfinished writing projects do you have lying about?

Oh I have quite a few: a couple of screenplays, a collection of poems and short stories, a handful of picture books stories. Most recently some half written pieces of flash fiction which I might finish and publish on Substack.

Share a picture of what ‘A Room of One’s Own’ means to you, and why.

I had the pleasure to stay in this Unyoked cabin with my partner over the summer. For me this the perfect place to write and read, spend time with my thoughts and just do nothing. I’d love to go back on my own and make it a solo writing retreat.

What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?

Oh this is a nice question. My ideal writing conditions would be early in the morning before anyone's awake or late at night once everyone's in bed. Comfy clothes, a few lit candles and a warm drink - apple tea or a matcha latte.

What music do you listen to while writing?

My favourite instrumental playlist to write to is the Calm playlist on Apple Music Chill

What’s your favourite quote from a writer?

“The creative adult is the child who survived.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

Closing out this Column with:

“Don’t be like so many writers, don’t be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don’t be dull and boring and pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-love. the libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. don’t add to that. don’t do it. unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don’t do it. unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don’t do it.” - Charles Bukowski

What resources (Substacks or otherwise) have helped you on your publishing or creative journey? Share your go-to favourites so we can all learn from them! 📢🖋️🔍

Thanks so much for being here - let’s inspire each other.

Love,
Danusia x