Sarcasm is a Room

Parents that Write #39 Q&A with Daniel Puzzo

Welcome to Parents That Write.

Parent writers, artists, and creators are more than just their ‘chaos’. We’re publishing books, dropping albums, optioning screenplays, and making magic every day.

HOW DO THEY DO IT? That's what we're here to find out. Each week, my guests tackle eight quick-fire questions, plus a few wildcards. But first, a peek into my own creative life:

No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life

Somehow, we’ve reached week 39 of these interviews with parent-creatives, most of them published, prolific, and in the thick of their creative work and family life. Two more to go: next week the brilliant Amy I Beeson 🐝, then the indomitable Claire Venus ✨. That takes us to 41.

After that?

I’ll be taking a pause from the interviews to cook up a micro run of trend-heavy reflections drawn from the patterns, tensions, and creative truths that showed up again and again in answers.

Which ones would you want me to dig into first?

Meanwhile, here’s a little reminder:

Adapted from a plaque by Jenny Holzer

And now, this week’s guest, MEET Daniel Puzzo writer, teacher, and language obsessive with a global past and a sharp, self-deprecating voice. His Substack blends language reflections, parenting rants, cultural commentary, and the occasional heartbreak...equal parts irreverent, insightful, and never quite on topic (by design).

Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?

I have a 7-year-old daughter I co-parent with my ex-wife. There’s a long(ish) story involved, here’s the gist of it: I’d been living in Ukraine until February 2022 when we had to leave. We’re now in Vienna and co-habiting while we raise our daughter. Things are perfectly amicable and our daughter is doing well and to her, things are as close to normal as they could be.

The most challenging aspect of all this is my perilous financial situation. I work sporadically but am concentrating on trying to make writing a viable career. My family (in-laws and my own) have been unbelievably helpful and generous with keeping me going and I hope I can eventually repay them (in some fashion).

I spend more time with my daughter and have more parenting responsibilities, which I never complain about. If there’s any silver lining to our circumstances, it’s that I never thought I’d get to spend so much time with my daughter. I’m grateful for that (despite a few of the thoughts I’m about to share).

Where can we find you?

Substack | Website | Instagram | Youtube [ Books

Can you share favourite praise for your writing?

“Daniel Puzzo is my favourite Sarcstacker. There are more, I’m sure, but he’s my favourite.” ~ Hanna Delaney

“Your sarkiness has an appealing, international flavour to it, combining American directness, European disdain and British world-weariness.” ~ Thomas Norford

“Daniel is that person who will crack you up regularly and fill you with gratitude that you get to be yourself and not him.” ~ Gregory Garretson

Why do you write?

I’ve been writing for years, but up until April 2022, it was only a pre-Substack blog. After I’d settled in Vienna and resumed teaching, it was the perfect time to start the book I’d been meaning to write for years: a book about language learning, but in a light-hearted, engaging way with humour, anecdotes and bits of memoir. As a long-time English as a Foreign Language teacher, students often asked me for book recommendations and I thought, ‘to hell with it, I’ll write my own and they can read that!’

What does the inside of your writing mind look like?

Much like other writers who have been featured here: a discombobulated mess.

How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?

There are a few things I want to write about in my books but am hesitant to in case my daughter reads them later (although I’d be thrilled if she did).

Sometimes when a situation is playing out in real life with my daughter and I have a sudden urge to get things down on paper, I might dictate my words out loud to her as a way to remember and process them. Here’s an example, because I’m not sure it makes sense: I’m a grumpy old curmudgeon and easily irritated, especially with rudeness in society. At the supermarket a few months ago, I was trying to remain calm under pressure and instead of lashing out, I turned on my sarcasm and passive-aggressiveness (a debatable positive parenting strategy, but don’t judge me!). As it was unfolding, I envisaged a scene in a future book very vividly and I narrated it to my daughter on the way home while I tried to explain my passive aggressive ‘strategy’ to her. It’s almost like killing two birds with one stone.

Another funny example, this one where my daughter provided a key plot point in my first novel. One night last November as we were brushing her teeth, she was in a particularly foul mood, talking back to me and being recalcitrant like a teenager would (she was 6 at the time). Out of nowhere, with her back to me, she kicked me right in the nether regions and I howled in pain and also uttered an unforgivable profanity (in my defense, I had blood in my urine for a few days!).

The next day, I used that incident in my novel for a pivotal scene and I now think it’s the best chapter. Or at least my favourite. It’s amazing where inspiration comes from.

How often do you write with your child around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when they are nearby?

I’m unbelievably easily distracted. The tiniest thing sets me off and I lose focus and get antsy and jumpy. I think it was Oliver Burkeman who talked about ‘anticipatory distractions’ and this is my problem. Even if I think I won’t be distracted, the mere threat of it messes with my head.

When I’m trying to keep a routine and be disciplined, if my daughter is at home and off school (I do most of my productive writing Monday – Friday), I’m utterly useless. I can do admin-type writing (like responding to Substack comments) but forget anything more substantial.

What is your best writing habit, and how did you discover it?

My writing suffers if I don’t write consistently. Even a day off if I’m on a roll can throw me out of whack. As a personal challenge I tried the National Novel Writing Month thing last November and that led to most of the first draft of my novel, which I’ve just started serialising right here on Substack. Forcing myself to write every day was far from tortuous. I always looked forward to a new day of writing.

As for editing…don’t get me started!

What are the three most important characteristics of being a writer who is a parent?

➡️ Patience (which I have, but inconsistently)

➡️ Remaining calm under pressure (haha, fat chance)

➡️ Humour/not taking things too seriously (rarely a problem)

What or who is your secret writing weapon?

This is probably not very original, but a drink or two often gets my creative juices flowing when I’m really stuck, or if I’m in a bit of a rut. I hate to make it a habit, and if I’m able to write consistently every day (preferably morning), coffee is my only fuel. But as I write this, I’m in the middle of an intense summer school teaching job and haven’t written anything properly for a couple of weeks, so I’m sat here in a rowdy pub by the seaside in Essex sipping a craft ale.

Funnily, I’m not distracted at all in noisy environments. Some of the best chapters from my first book were written in raucous Irish pubs after a pint or two and they required minimal editing. The cacophony of noise in a pub is strangely comforting and it’s often when I have my most creative periods.

Unfortunately, hanging out in noisy pubs isn’t exactly compatible with good parenting. ‘Sweetheart, go amuse yourself over there with the rowdy Irish hooligans while daddy writes, okay?’

What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?

My years of teaching (nearly two decades), reading, and the shenanigans that come with living abroad for most of my life.

What are your coping tactics for being (constantly) interrupted in your thought process?

Boy oh boy, this is a tough one. The ideal coping tactic is to go for a walk, but I can't just leave my daughter alone and do that. Luckily for me, I am at my worst when my ex is also around, so I can leave. But if I desperately need/want to get something done that requires concentration and am unable to do so...the anxiety kicks in and I get super flustered. I've yet to discover a decent coping tactic.

What’s your best writing time?

The morning for sure, later in the day if a stronger drink is 'required.'

What motivates you to write amongst the flurry of family life?

A love of writing and a desperation to get all my thoughts out into the world, whether anyone cares to read them or not. I'm nearing 50 (gulp) and am trying to make up for lost time.

You’re a writer: name 3 of your procrastination techniques.

1 Watching football and American football (I fritter away too much time on it)
2 Reading (which is a healthy technique, right?)
3 General faffing about (that's the best way of putting it)

If your writing discipline was a food, what would it be?

Spicy buffalo chicken wings (interpret that as you wish)

Do you use any productivity hacks like toggling, Pomodoro, Focusmate? Spill the beans.

Absolutely not. It's just a constant battle against my own (lack of) willpower. I can have spells of amazing productivity when I'm LEFT ALONE!

Which three (parent) writers make you think, “Damn, I wish I could write like this”.

There are so many, it’s hard to narrow it down to just three, but I’ll go with Lee Bacon, Andy Carter, and Lindsey Smith (and if I can mention a fourth, Hanna Delaney)

What unfinished writing projects do you have lying about?

Deary me, a ton of ideas for books, half-started efforts, a first draft in need of serious editing, thousands of ideas running through my head and keeping me awake at night…

If you could have a conversation with any writer throughout history (who was also a parent) about their writing routine and creative process, who would that person be, and why?

I'm stuck on this question. I truly can't think of anyone - some of the authors that come to mind (Martin Amis, for example) weren't the most devoted fathers and I'm not sure their tips would be very helpful to me. I think I'm better off just figuring things out as I plod along.

What is the favourite sentence you’ve ever written, and why?

“She showed her phone to Groucho. ‘Here, look at this!’

Groucho looked. ‘Wow, well done, you got the Wordle in 4. Nice. Interesting first word you’ve chosen to begin, SHART.”

Okay, so this is definitely NOT my favourite sentence of all time, but it's one that's fresh on my mind. It's from my novel and it captures my inane wit perfectly. It's probably an acquired taste, but I chuckle every time I read it.

Share a picture of what ‘A Room of One’s Own’ means to you, and why.

I'm going to be lazy with this answer and just say this: picture the classic, stereotypical, romantic writer's room with a lovely desk, comfy armchair in the corner and epic, sweeping views of the Scottish Highlands.

What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?

Comfy clothes like jogging bottoms, but definitely not pajamas. I struggle in summer in the stifling heat (no one has A/C in Austria). I don’t want too much light, eye health be damned (which is a problem living with my ex, she likes to turn on every light in the flat). My best writing is done in the morning, with coffee and before eating.

A major problem, which I try not to complain about too much because of our circumstances, is that I don’t have a private space to write. There’s plenty of room, but my desk is in the kitchen/lounge. In our apartment in Ukraine I had a space, but for the time being, things here in Vienna are still kind of temporary.

A vibrant café will usually do the trick to get my writing into gear, and of course, a boisterous pub can work wonders for my creative juices.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Silence is great, or I’ll put on light classical on the radio. If my daughter is around and I need to write, I have to put on headphones, but this is far from ideal.

What’s your favourite quote from a writer?

"I sometimes feel that I should carry around some sort of rectal thermometer, with which to test the rate at which I am becoming an old fart." - - Christopher Hitchens

That’s all for this week, thank you for reading,