Pastel is Cancelled
Parents that Write #34 Q&A with Francesca Bossert
Welcome to Parents That Write.
Parent writers, artists, and creators are more than just their ‘chaos’. We’re publishing books, dropping albums, optioning screenplays, and making magic every day.
HOW DO THEY DO IT? That's what we're here to find out. Each week, my guests tackle eight quick-fire questions, plus a few wildcards. But first, a peek into my own creative life:
No-Fluff Notes from my Writing Life
There’s a moment every writer hits, just before clicking publish when your stomach turns and the doubt creeps in:
Is this too much? Too sharp? Too raw? Too likely to make someone unsubscribe?
Last Sunday I published “The Extra-Weird Work in Female Friendships: On the Ethics of Sisterlifting Nobody Warns You About.”
It lit a match.
The comments are long, flammable, and fiercely intelligent. And yes, a few readers quietly let themselves out.
That’s the deal.
When you write with your full voice, you don’t always get polite applause.
Sometimes you get silence.
When you write with full heat and no exit strategy, it stings, and that’s how you know it matters. Sometimes you get people packing their bags.
But if you’re a writer, or a reader, who’s ever felt the urge to smooth the edges, sugar the truth, or keep things pastel to keep people comfortable… this is your reminder not to.
Write what you’re scared to say.
Say it anyway. Say it louder. Say it like it matters, because it does. Say the things that make you, and them, squirm.
Keep telling the truth, even if it tastes a little dangerous on the way out.
🧨 Tell me: what’s your truth threshold? Ever dropped something searing and watched your subscriber count nosedive faster than your tolerance for bullshit? Or are you still pulling punches to keep the peace?
Spill it in the comments: Do you write it raw, or wrap it in ribbons?
Next week, I’ll bring you , author of Motherness, fierce mind behind The Autistic Mom, and a writer of radical, resonant clarity. But first, meet , this week’s guest: a sharp-witted wordsmith splitting her time between Switzerland and Spain, between precision and heat, wit and raunch.
She’s here, and she’s not holding back.
Francesca writes , a publication that wanders, wittily, through the in-betweens of life: between languages, identities, and the mad swirl of aging, lust, old crushes, and snarky friends. Her grown children get name-checked, but it’s the frogs and emotional flashbacks that steal the show.
Share a broad snapshot of your life. Who are you parent to and/or have caring responsibilities for?
I live between Switzerland and Spain, but I like to joke that my body wants to be Spanish; there’s always a little more wiggle in my hips when I’m over there!
Both my children are grown up now: Olivia lives near London, and Greg lives in the Swiss Alps. So my husband and I should be free to do fabulous things, especially since he retired two years ago, but my IBD and chronic pain have been blowing raspberries at that funky plan.
Nevertheless, thanks to my ability to sashay down the bright side of life (and some excellent antidepressants!), I’ve reinvented myself as a poet. I’ve just published my first poetry collection, Illicit Croissants at Dawn, in collaboration with my daughter, a fashion photographer and mixed-media artist who created the cover and did the illustrations.
We’ve always been incredibly close, and I’m delighted we were able to combine our skills to produce such a beautiful book. My son is a filmmaker, photographer, snowboard instructor, skateboarder, and an incredibly kind human being. I’m very proud of both my children.
Where can we find you?
Website | Instagram | Substack
Can you share favourite praise for your writing?
“Her voice is frank and witty. Her lines sparkle with whimsy. Then, right when you expect a lull, she drops an image so bright you feel it singe the page.”
“Her poems are both vitamins and vaccines - uplifts and preventative medicine that let us laugh at our pain and sharpen our own insights through her humorous lens.”
“Francesca’s poetry is divine. It’s fresh, and has the feel of simply having bubbled out of her and onto the paper. She is a true gift!”
“Bossert brings cleverness and soul to her poems - they’re funny without being slight.”
Why do you write?
I started writing because I loved taking myself to other places and living different lives.
As a child, I wrote a screenplay about gypsies and princesses, loads of pony stories, and constant letters to my Nana in England. I’ve been through phases where I didn’t write, but I always missed it.
I wrote a romantic comedy over twenty years ago, “Just Like A Movie”, which I republished in 2023 when my chronic illnesses put a stop to everything else I enjoyed.
Then, when my mental health hit rock bottom in early 2024, I discovered poetry. Writing poems has been my lifeline ever since. Poetry keeps my mind busy. It entertains me, makes me giggle, gives me an outlet for frustrations, and helps me untangle complicated thoughts. Most of all, it allows me to share something of myself with the world. I love entertaining people with my words.
What does the inside of your writing mind look like?
This is a cool question! Friends have told me they’d love to live inside my mind for a while, to experience my sometimes wacky inner world. It’s probably rather messy in there, to be honest - but also very colourful and cosy. I’m quite happy to hang out in my mind for long periods, playing with words and making stuff up.
How is your ability to write affected by being a parent and your ability to parent affected by your writing?
Since my kids are grown up, I no longer have a kiddie schedule. But I remember being very disciplined when I wrote my romcom. I’d go to my office and escape to Ibiza (where the story is set) until about 2:30pm, then tear myself away from my characters and skedaddle off to school to collect the children.
My husband was very supportive - if I needed to work during the weekend, he’d keep the kids occupied. Now that I have health issues, he’s stepped up again: driving me to appointments when I’m too exhausted, doing the shopping, cooking dinner.
I’ll close my laptop, head downstairs, and find something delicious waiting… although, to be honest, we tend to eat the same things over and over because of my IBD. And if I’m having a particularly bad day, it’s probably just fat-free yogurt and a piece of toast. Food doesn’t thrill me anymore.
How often do you write with other people around or not, and what kind of writing do you get done when they are nearby?
I rarely write anywhere if I’m not alone, although sometimes a poem will pop out and I’ll catch it on my phone. I love to write outside if I can.
Last summer in Switzerland, I spent hours at the terrace table with the sun blind down, or under our phenomenal plane tree, enjoying listening to the birds singing, the bees buzzing, and with a favourite playlist in the background. In Spain, I love writing in our patio in a bikini! I’ve written a lot of poetry there.
What is your best writing habit, and how did you discover it?
After publishing my romcom, I went through a long creative block. I put too much pressure on myself and couldn’t get out of my own way. So when I tiptoed back into writing after republishing “Just Like A Movie”, I knew that, as a chronically ill person, I did not want any unnecessary stress.
When I first joined Substack, I nearly deleted my account right away because I felt way out of my depth. It was full of talented, well-established writers, and I hadn’t written in over twenty years. I called my handle “Just For Fun” to signal that I wasn’t to be taken seriously. I tiptoed around, feeling lost and lonely, until I stumbled on ’s tiny seasonal poetry prompts and thought I’d have a go.
My first poem, “Wolf”, unearthed something in me I didn’t know existed. I’m incredibly grateful for Beth’s prompts. As for other general writing habits, I carry my phone everywhere and as soon as an idea tickles me, I write it down in Notes. This is probably going to be TMI, but I’ve written loads of poetry in the loo. Hey, I have an IBD! Some days I live in there!
What or who is your secret writing weapon?
Fun! If I’m not fully immersed and enjoying myself, if I don’t feel completely free I’m rubbish. I have to let myself get very silly, even if I later go back and rein it in a bit. I once mortified my son by performing a poem about one of the minor character in my romcom, DJ Bonk. I wrote it in an afternoon, laughing my head off, hearing it like a rap song. Then I put found a baseball cap, put it on sideways and filmed myself rapping it. I thought it was hysterical, but maybe it was a bit OTT for the general public. I wasn’t gross or anything, but when I posted it, even one of my friends asked me if I was okay.
What or who has been the most significant creative influence in your life?
My uncle, Ray Connolly, has always been my writing hero. He’s a journalist, novelist, screenwiter, and playwright. Ray was a huge music journalist in the UK during the Sixties and Seventies, and made me the best mixed tapes when I was a teenager. He’s in his eighties now and just released a new book, “Snakes and Ladders”, with his son Kieron. I haven’t read it yet, but I’ve read nearly all of his books, enjoyed his radio plays, and seen the films “That’ll Be The Day” and “Stardust”, for which he wrote the screenplays. His “Stardust” novel was dedicated to me, something I’ve always been proud of. We don’t see each other often, but when we do, there’s always a special connection.
What’s your best writing time?
Anytime!
You’re a writer. Name three of your procrastination techniques.
➡️ Reading other people’s work on Substack.
➡️ Fiddling around on Canva trying to make cool montages for content. I’m rather rubbish.
➡️ Needing yet another cup of tea.
If your writing discipline was a food, what would it be?
I love breakfast. I went gluten-free and dairy-free for a couple of years, hoping it would help with my IBD. It didn’t. Now I enjoy fat-free Greek yogurt (I can’t digest fat), organic muesli with red berries with a splash of maple syrup, and sourdough toast with lactose-free butter and jam. Or almond butter. I love almond butter.
What are your favourite/preferred writing conditions in terms of clothes, environment, food you eat and anything else that helps you write?
I have to be comfortable. Since getting ill, I can’t stand anything tight or restrictive, but I do contort myself into some weird shapes in my chair.
I like being barefoot, or in cosy socks in winter. Sometimes, if I’m particularly unwell, I’ll climb into bed with my laptop and write there. I don’t snack much because of my condition, but I enjoy one or two cups of coffee a day. I’ve recently discovered Nespresso’s chocolate coffee, which I love. I put oat milk in my milk swisher machine and make myself a chocolate cappuccino. I try to drink enough water as my condition can make me dehydrated, and I love English Breakfast tea or Rooibos. I have a couple of Spotify playlists I like to write to, and I had a great time putting together an “Illicit Croissants at Dawn” playlist for my poetry book.
Until next time.
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One can never have enough cups of tea, but deary me, chocolate coffee? I'm a black coffee, no sugar, purist! (I can forgive you though 😉)
I felt this as an IBD sista. What a book cover! What a view from your office!